projecting onto situations where I’msafe
sometimes when I get into flashback mode and the guy I’m seeing does something only moderately annoying but that kinda reminds me of the past, I start projecting my past abuse onto him. Literally nothing is wrong, but then I start getting angry at him for tiny things and I can tell it’s really about the abuse that someone else put me through. idk what to do with myself. I always get so panicky I can’t even function whenever it seems like something is off, even for a dumb reason. I just need it to be fun and positive again so I know I’m not going to get hurt.
I think I’m just used to feeling like if I don’t read someone’s mind and do things perfectly I’m going to be yelled at. Or if someone needs to go away or stop hanging out for some reason, they must be doing it to control me or punish me and they won’t come back.
it just drives me crazy because then when I start trying to rationalize with myself and try to remember I’m just projecting, I just put my guard up again and get more freaked out because then I get worried that there actually is a red flag and I’m just missing it again . I don’t know how to stop it
@strangelilegg
It sounds like you're dealing with a lot of trauma, and it's affecting your relationships. It's understandable that experiences can make you more cautious and hyper vigilant.
It may be helpful to work with a therapist who specializes in trauma to help you process your experiences and develop coping mechanisms to manage your triggers. They can also help you work on setting healthy boundaries and communicating your needs to your partner.
It's also important to communicate with your partner about your past experiences and how they impact you. This can help him understand where you're coming from and how he can support you.
Remember that healing is a process and it's okay to take things slow. It's important to be patient with yourself and to celebrate the small victories along the way. You deserve to feel safe and loved, and with time and support, it is possible to overcome the effects of past trauma.