how to deal with triggers?
My moms ex husband sexually abused me all through out highschool now I'm 22 and he lives in the same town as me everytime he see's me he waves and bothers me everytime I see him it triggers me and put me to a real bad space.
How do you cope when your triggered?
Dear ~~Ledzeppers784 ,
First of all, let me say that I am so sorry that you were sexually abused by your mother's ex husband all throughout high school. No one deserves that. I am so proud of you for posting and glad you are here with us.
You say that it triggers you when you see him, and that is very normal my friend. You are not alone in that. There are several ways you could try to cope with the triggering situation. Here are a few that I have learned for my situation. When I am feeling triggered, I might listen to uplifting music or say a key phrase over and over again. Something like "He Can't Hurt Me Anymore" Something like that. or call a friend. Remember, you do not have to spend time with this man. I'm sure it's hard not to run into him as you live in the same town. However there are ways of coping as you are well aware. What are some things that you have tried?
Sincerely,
FaithfulPerson
yeah those are good ways, I usually write down my thoughts on paper then throw it away or write down three negative things then writes three different things down in a way of thinking differently or positive way. I've also been taking this online college course on selfhelp with anxiety and depression and anger to learn better techniques to deal, it also keeps me busy so I don't cut.
~~Ledzeppers784, excellent that you have found some key coping skills which work for you! Great job, my friend! Keep up the good work and remember that we are here for you if you need or want totalk moreabout this situation.
Sincerely,
Faithfulperson
Music really helps me I really like being alone I feel selfish but I spend a lot of time with my gf and our friends so when I'm alone I really enjoy that time I hope that it's not turning into something bad, get too all in my head or something.
well, I think that there is definitely a balance to be had with spending time with others and spending time alone. Reflection and meditation are good and spending "me time" is important. However, when you feel that you are getting too many negative thoughts in your head, maybe that's the time when reaching out to a friend might be a good idea. Best wishes on your journey my friend. You are doing an excellent job!
Hello friend,
The situation you experienced is terrible. The fact that you are still doing so well is a big thing. I am proud of you for the ways that you have been able to cope.You are brave to come here and share your story.
I have found that whenI am strongly triggered it is helpful to first calm the physiological reactions in the body. Located in the Anxiety self help guide you can find some great relaxation methods. Deep breathing is helpful to ground yourself in the present rather than feeling back in the trauma. Getting control of your breathing is key to calming the body. Once your body is calmed you can focus more on calmingyour mind.
Distractions are great for the short term. Attending to relationships is actually anEmotion Regulation skills, so it is definitely not selfish. Making sure that you are taking care of yourselfis very important with triggers.
Distress tolerance skills from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) have been very helpful for me. Here is a link you can use to read about the skills. If you have any questions, you can send me a private message and I will help you :)
Best wishes, my dear.
CydneyMW
Here is the link
http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/html/distress_tolerance.html