Tube feeding *TW*
*TW for food repulsion and abuse*
I recently was put on tube feeding because I got severely underweight. I've struggled quite a lot with food and trying to eat due to past traumas associated with food. The food textures really overwhelms me and makes me want to throw up. It's like my brain freezes. I've to go to some sessions now with my nurse to learn more about how to live with and manage tube feeding and for hospital checkups. So far it's been hard managing with tube feeding and something like a plastic feeling attached to me
It sounds incredibly challenging, and it's completely understandable that you're feeling this way. Dealing with food and eating is already hard enough when you have past traumas, and now having to manage tube feeding on top of that must feel overwhelming. It's good that you have your nurse sessions; they can be really helpful. I imagine it must be strange and uncomfortable to get used to something like tube feeding. The plastic feeling sounds like it could be really tough to get used to.
@clare7199. Trigger warning ⚠️
I just read an old post of yours about responses in sexual abuse. It was such a brave and important post that you wrote. I’m sorry to hear that you are struggling. You will be in my thoughts and I hope that you will be able to learn to manage and live with the tube with the help of the nurse.
i think I'm slowly getting used to the feel of tube feeding. i felt alot of tightness in my stomach because of the feeding tube. Idk how to explain it. But it's a feeling like everything is contracting. i got an infection on my stomach at the feeding tube place because of SH. but my doctor thankfully it's not serious. she prescribed me antibiotics and I've been taking them and i think it made it better
@clare7199. I’m glad to hear this update from you and that you are getting used to the tube (slowly). It’s a good thing that they were able to prescribe antibiotics for the infection and it’s getting better. It’s always good to hear from you.
@clare7199 I've been there a few times, I'm sorry you struggle with this too.😞 I struggle to eat good cause of trauma too, so I understand what your going through. Stay strong sweetie ❤ gives you a giant tiny hug ❤
@Tinywhisper11 thank you. a warm hug for you as well if that's ok ❤️ i hope it gets easier for us ❤️
@clare7199 it will get easier ❤ we can do this ❤ hugs you back ❤
@Tinywhisper11. @clare7199. I hope it will get easier and I am rooting for the both of you.
@adventurousBranch3786 ❤❤ thanks branch ❤❤
Awh I'm so sorry to hear that, sounds like you happen to struggle so much with your eating habits. I can't imagine how uncomfortable and repulsive it must be to take all your food through a tube. Have you struggled with disordered eating like this before too? After years through trauma and neglect sometimes we feel like we don't 'deserve' to have the food we eat so we avoid it altogether (and most throw up the food right after eating just for this very reason), other times we feel like we'll be judged for our body and so we refuse to eat so that we don't have to bear the hurt from their comments. Does any of these happen to resonate with you? I can understand how hard it is to get out of an eating disorder, at times of despair it can often seem like an endless cycle with no hope in sight. I'm so glad to hear that you've been getting advice on how to deal with the tube feeding, it must be so difficult and new to you. It's been a while since you've had written this post I'd love to hear any updates from you 💖 Do you still need to put up with feeding through a tube? Do you think you might be able to start eating regularly? I hope everything gets better soon I know this is so much to bear but please hang in there. I'm glad you had enough courage to open up you're so brave to go through all this pain of yours, do share anything more that you want on the forum here we can be a bit slow to reply since we can miss the post sometimes but I'm sure you'll get replies in a few days. Would love to hear from you! Bye bye take care now 💖
@clare7199
@hopefulRain22 thank you so so much for your kind words. I really really appreciate it alot. I do feel like alot that I don't deserve to eat and was undernourished as a child because of receiving "punishments" I still use feeding tube until I can either eat or get to a healthy weight. thank you for your kind words again ❤️❤️
@clare7199 I'm deeply sorry to hear about your struggle; I'm sure it's been challenging and tough to adjust to a feeding tube. However, I just want to say how brave you are and how strong for seeking help. That can't have been easy for you. I've struggled with my eating habits my whole life, I understand your pain and I'm only a message away if needed. You are an inspiration to all of us who suffer. Stay amazing!
