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My story
reservedShade279 August 3rd, 2015
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Hello,

I'm V, that's why I like to be called. It's just a letter because it's not that important, like me. I'm 17. I've had a variety of horrific events happen, I don't want to go into too much detail because it brings up too many bad memories. The big one though, is the time when cops came to my house, in full force (a SWAT team - SWAT is special weapons and tactics - heavily armed officers). They grabbed me out on the street, threw me to the ground, had shotguns, assault rifles pointed at me, fingers on the triggers, no safety, and they executed 3 warrants in sync against me, my family's house. I've never done anything illegal in my life, yet they almost killed me. They almost broke my bones, they embarrassed me in-front everyone I knew, and they ruined my life. I don't want to detail why they executed warrants, and why me - because, till this day - I still don't know. I was always happy before, now I've been diagnosed with PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder), Anxiety, and Depression. It's a hard combo to deal with, PTSD sucks. I have bad dreams, nightmares of similar things, and even the event. I walk into a room and I can hear a noise, or something, and it'll set me off, and I'll be paused, frozen in mid space, nothing can wake me up. I relive the events. When I'm done reliving the events, I usually burst in tears and cry for hours. It doesn't help that I have bad anxiety and depression.

Sometimes I just want to cry forever. That's my story. I've been suffering in general for 3 years, going on 4 in a few weeks. It feels like nothing will ever fix me. I see myself as a loner and a loser because I can't communicate with people properly, and cannot connect with people. I've been bullied since I was 5 years old. I accepted their mean comments, and all the bruises I got, but they never stopped hurting me.

5
SagittarianPanda August 3rd, 2015
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You are a true fighter, and a real inspiration. People like yourself deserve a medal. I know that wouldn't even come close to healing the scars (both mental and physical) that you've gained in your life, but you deserve something!

I really hope you can one day lead a satisfied life, instead of suffering as you have been for years.

Keep on fighting, and never give up! heart Your story has really inspired me to carry on fighting with my current problems, and I'm sure many others will also be inspired to keep on going.

I really hope that you get back the happiness you once had, because you deserve it more than anyone!

reservedShade279 OP August 3rd, 2015
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Thanks! That means a lot, it put a smile on my face.

kat605 August 7th, 2015
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i'm new just joined wanted to say you're very brave to tell your story of horible abuse and violence. The PTSD will take a long time and lots of support to heal so keep reaching out. And know it's not your fault for what happened though you might deeply feel otherwise at times. Just keep reaching out.

JayaSky August 7th, 2015
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Hi I am Jaishree. There is not much to say about me just that I fear I might not be able to live up to expectations people have of me. I been through a lot in life and I have learned from my mistakes but somehow I feel like it's not good enough like I am not good enough. I have been bullied many times and it's something am working on and getting better at standing up for myself and others who are too afraid of having their voice heard. That's why I joined seven cups of tea as it helps me overcome my fears I can also help others. Thank you for readying.

cyanDog7041 August 7th, 2015
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I know a man just like you who works at my company. Swore he didn't owe the world any kindness because the world never gave it to him. All I did was simply try to befriend him. Allow others to befriend you! You don't know what you might miss! Yes, not all people are good people, but the other people are on your journey to led you to a greater purpose.

If you don't do anything at all this weekend but this, then you are a winner!

Go outside and sit with Mother Nature. No, no - don't hug a tree. But, sit, close your eyes and listen. Don't listen to your thoughts - listen to the trees; the smell of the grass; the birds in the air. When we are most silent, that's when are prayers are heard.

Everyone deserves love and joy in their lives; you were given this path because you are ABLE to handle this. I hope you'll give life and a friend, a try :)

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