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reservedShade279
1 52,874 M Confident Walk 1
PathStep 978 Compassion hearts1,628 Forum posts22 Forum upvotes23 Current upvotes23 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2017 Member sinceJuly 22, 2015
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Question for Laura
Safety & Knowledge at 7 Cups / by reservedShade279
Last post
 August 25th, 2015
...See more So, @Laura, I had a generalized question and thought I'd post it here: Yesterday (Aug 22nd, 2015) two mods warned me for "being sucidial" - when I was not. I was merely chatting while sitting on a roof, then later people are saying social media (namely kik account usernames), I say "I love how the mods are deleting the kik usernames so quickly" - note: I never said my kik username at all, and I got warned, so now that's three warnings and I'm muted and I haven't done anything wrong. I never once shared social media, nor was I suicidal at all, so under what grounds do these mods have to issue these warnings? I told them 20 times I wasn't suicidal, still got warned, I never once posted social media, but still got warned leading to a mute. I'm not trying to cause an argument, I think it's just borderline abuse of power, since I told them many times I wasn't sucidal I was just sitting on a roof, and still warned, and then I never posted social media, just said the phrase I indicated above, and got warned and muted. @Heather
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Looking for someone who cares
General Support / by reservedShade279
Last post
 August 20th, 2015
...See more Just searching for a teen listener, who is caring and nice, and who will actually listen and try to understand me and not feel like an automated robot is talking to me. I have PTSD, depression, and severe anxiety.
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I'm proud of myself
Positivity & Gratitude / by reservedShade279
Last post
 August 4th, 2015
...See more Today got very bad, the urge to cut and do other stuff was very high, but I managed to calm myself down and didn't cut myself.
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My story
Trauma Support / by reservedShade279
Last post
 August 7th, 2015
...See more Hello, I'm V, that's why I like to be called. It's just a letter because it's not that important, like me. I'm 17. I've had a variety of horrific events happen, I don't want to go into too much detail because it brings up too many bad memories. The big one though, is the time when cops came to my house, in full force (a SWAT team - SWAT is special weapons and tactics - heavily armed officers). They grabbed me out on the street, threw me to the ground, had shotguns, assault rifles pointed at me, fingers on the triggers, no safety, and they executed 3 warrants in sync against me, my family's house. I've never done anything illegal in my life, yet they almost killed me. They almost broke my bones, they embarrassed me in-front everyone I knew, and they ruined my life. I don't want to detail why they executed warrants, and why me - because, till this day - I still don't know. I was always happy before, now I've been diagnosed with PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder), Anxiety, and Depression. It's a hard combo to deal with, PTSD sucks. I have bad dreams, nightmares of similar things, and even the event. I walk into a room and I can hear a noise, or something, and it'll set me off, and I'll be paused, frozen in mid space, nothing can wake me up. I relive the events. When I'm done reliving the events, I usually burst in tears and cry for hours. It doesn't help that I have bad anxiety and depression. Sometimes I just want to cry forever. That's my story. I've been suffering in general for 3 years, going on 4 in a few weeks. It feels like nothing will ever fix me. I see myself as a loner and a loser because I can't communicate with people properly, and cannot connect with people. I've been bullied since I was 5 years old. I accepted their mean comments, and all the bruises I got, but they never stopped hurting me.
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