Had a tough night

I’ve dealt with depression and ptsd which has gotten worse since the death of my abusive parent. I am finally able to talk about things without consequences. The abuse was severe physical and emotional abuse. I have no contact with my family because of their denial of the abuse and lack of emotional support. Spent a great part of my life hiding what I went though and people out the outside would see me as confident. I’m having a really tough time and last night I overindulged in drinks. I tend to avoid alcohol when I am that depressed but I didn’t and went overboard. Paid for it today. I know the ptsd will not go away and I’ll have to learn to cope my entire life by managing it in healthy ways. Ive been feeling really down lately and worry about my future because I have a husband with health issues and he is not social. I’ve been working from home and feel isolated and honestly don’t have much support outside of online friends. I also had to end a friendship with One of those friends who I held in high regard because of instances where it began to be a one way relationship where I was always putting their needs before my own and when we would disagree about something and I’d share my feelings of being hurt she would gaslight or spin it back on me so much that it became abusive in the way she would talk down to me. Triggering flashbacks of my abusive parent. I worry about my future. I still miss them a lot even after all that has happened as well. We had some really good times. I feel very isolated with no support system and finding it really hard to cope. I am working with a therapist who has been helpful but still struggle a lot.