First Day Back at Work
This wasn't fun... My job has had me stay home since this COVID pandemic started and today was my first day back... and I couldn't do it. I have two other high risk family members living with me so I wear a mask every time I go out. I have probably only wore my mask for 15 minutes at a time, so no big deal. 30 minutes into the workday and I'm struggling to breathe through this thing, and it slowly started to feel... worse. I tried grounding myself not sure what was going on by identifying objects, scents and colors around me but it became too much too fast... it felt like my dad was smothering me again and I couldn't breathe... I was shaking and it felt like I was looking into his eyes again. My management team is aware of this happening every once and again (probably the most supportive I've ever seen.) So, out of concern for my safety and well-being ... I was sent home with an Emergency Leave form to fill out.
This makes me feel ridiculous... 22 year old being sent home from work because he's crying about what his dad did to him when he was younger...
@TransparentPuzzle
I am sorry to hear about the trauma that you are currently suffering from. I can understand feeling embarrassed about the situation. I am glad to hear that your management team is understanding. Masks can definitely feel hard to breathe in and it can definitely be triggering for people with traumatic memories like yours. How can we offer you some support during this time?
@HopieRemi I think my support is y'all being here and taking the time to read my post and asking what you just asked. I'm still having to get used to having a support system that genuinely cares
@TransparentPuzzle
Well, I am glad that you have us! We definitely care that you are here and getting support.
@HopieRemi Just realized you actually also helped me indenting something. I didn't realize the way I felt afterwards was embarrassment because I've struggled identifying what I'm feeling and describing it accurately. I don't think the sentence "I'm embarrassed" has come from me my entire life... so thank you for that!!! 😊
@TransparentPuzzle
you are welcome! I am here to help after all!
