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Feel so alone it's hurting so much

ChaiTeal April 30th, 2023
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I'm really struggling..


I felt like everything was finally starting to go well and that I can do it on my own, I'm strong enough. But now I just feel so alone and no one cares, no one is here and it's making me feel like I'm worthless and I don't matter. Every little bit of hope I try to hold on too, something else happens to set me back that I feel like everything keeps going wrong and it's so overwhelming that hope is feeling hard to hold on too anymore. I don't even know why I'm here.. 😭

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toughTiger6481 May 1st, 2023
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@ChaiTeal

i have a similar feeling i made a change recently and at the time everything felt great hopeful and exciting ..... i took my time in doing things....

Then poof out of the blue I feel lost alone.......... nothing is happening and i feel lost alone and like i made a huge error ... i feel rushed when the good times come to get things done asap before they all fall apart.

i want to believe for both of us that these moments that feel so empty and lost are simply calm before a wave of good luck and happy moments come ..... i know i want to rush through this empty time but maybe i need it to reflect and prepare and NOT make a rash decision. i sometime feel my timing is off and no matter how hard i try i miss the opportunities and breaks but what if that was just not my time...

ChaiTeal OP May 1st, 2023
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@toughTiger6481


Thank you for your reply ☺️🩷


I like that, I want to believe that too πŸ™πŸ»πŸ˜Š

I understand and can relate to wanting to rush through it. I feel when things fall apart that it's my fault I went wrong somewhere 😞 it's hard, I sit and reflect and it's painful, but I also wonder if it's healing and making me a stronger person through the suffering. I just want to know how to live in freedom and get out of this survival mode that I feel stuck in. Hoping for the both of us that our time is soon πŸ™πŸ»πŸ™πŸ»

YesYouMatter May 1st, 2023
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@ChaiTealI encourage you that sometimes things can seem like they have no rhyme or reason but sometimes just the act of enduring is the lesson it's self. This too will pass.

ChaiTeal OP May 1st, 2023
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@YesYouMatter Thank you for your reply 🩷😊

EzraYourLocalTrans May 1st, 2023
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@ChaiTeal

TW: Slight mention of suicidal thoughts

Hey. I am so so sorry you're going through something like this. I am too. I know I don't know you but you are valid and you're gonna be ok. You can make it through times that seem impossible to make through. I've been in hospitals in and out struggling with suicidal thoughts but I've made it through my attempts every time. I am so sorry but remember that you can do this.

ChaiTeal OP May 2nd, 2023
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@EzraYourLocalTrans


Thank you for your reply 😊🩷


You sound like a really strong person and you too can do this and be okay. Remember to be kind to yourself too! I'm glad you are here and you are also valid!! It's so comforting in a way to know that you can get the love and kindness from people you don't know, just to make your day a little bit better 🩷☺️


EzraYourLocalTrans May 3rd, 2023
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@ChaiTeal

Thank you <3

Remember that you can be strong and you are valid. You're loved.

IndigoWhisper May 2nd, 2023
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I know that feeling or one very like it.


So many times in my life - I've made it - on crumbs and the fact that I learned the hard way to always have a *lot* of different things to hang onto.


I know its hard but you need new anchors NOW.


Music is a great one for me - I have a whole list of songs I play when I need a boost. Sing, dance, play an instrument if you have ond- or just listen but let the music help you feel better.


Go for a walk and find one thing - just one thing that at least makes you smile.


Collect a tiny victory - it does not matter how small or what that victory is. It can be in your house, at school/work, in a game, a hobby, anything but it must feel like a tiny accomplishment. If you are really struggling it cam be a three tiny accomplishments to get out of bed, feed yourself, and take a shower.


Can you manage to pay the bills (kinda suck to do but feel good to have done), take a walk.


Maybe you did well in a video game its okay to count that as a victory - especially when we are struggling to find one or need an extra one to shore us up.


Take pleasure in each small thing you get done - celebrate it.


How about that craft, building, or furniture assembly project that you haven't done - today is the day to start - a bigger victory and something to focus on.


Or maybe today is house cleaning day as you collect small victories and scrub the pain and stress away.


Write a story, read one.


Turn on the TV and please anything but reality TV or news. Laugh, dream, learn something, or vosit pleasant nostalgia land.


Do something for someone else.


Do you like to cook or paint or draw or something?


Go sit in a park


Pet an animal


Play a game


Read a book


Write a story


Research a random topic of interest because why not become a mini-expert on Aardarks, Animatronics, or Anvils - I've used that one WAY to many times - side-effects may include people commenting on all the weird random stuff you know and increased value in trivia games ;).


I know how the cascade of stuff going wrong can feel. And the fear that when things are right it's just waiting for them to go wrong - a thousand anchors- a thousand things to hold onto. Be ready with that favorite movie, song, book- whatever you can use for comfort use *anything* then find or make new stuff even if it's just tiny crumbs collect them in a bag and use them as seeds then hang on till they grow and keep looking for new seeds and new short term anchors while those seeds grow - you WILL get through this.



ChaiTeal OP May 2nd, 2023
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@IndigoWhisper


Thank you so much!! I love this. Your comment made me smile today so thank you 🩷🩷


You've definitely made me think about finding my anchors and my seeds. Those are some great ideas thank you, Music is a great one for me too, I love listening to Bethel Music to get me through the dark times 🎢