CPTSD in 2021
This is a hard issue to discuss online. But I am so isolated from my trauma that I literally have no one to talk to about this. I'm hoping I can find some like minded people on here but I'm scared of the bullying that could result if I expose myself too much.
I have clinically diagnosed general anxiety, hyper tension, major depression, complex ptsd, agoraphobia and fibromyalgia. So, needless to say I don't leave my house much. I haven't had a "friend" in over ten years. I have a psychiatrist and I'm on medication for my depression.
Since the start of this year I have been experiencing extreme disassociation episodes. When I have to go to the grocery store I feel overwhelmed by the sea of masked faces and I feel physically threatened by being in public settings.
I am so isolated that I am having panic attacks when someone walks in front of my house or a package is dropped off at my door. My lack of trust with people has reached a level that is preventing me from believing anyone is being non threatening.
I was doing well in 2019 and the current state of the world has pushed me back down the mountain I thought I was finished climbing. I am having trouble getting out of bed at this point and the isolation is killing me slowly.
Any suggestions to break the cycle?
This is my first post. I'm jumping right in. I need help.
Dealing with the same kind of stuff. May things get better for people like you and me.
Hi, I know this is a short reply for a long message and especially when it is real and vulnerable. I believe you are longing for connection and why also you choose to join this application and maybe find someone to talk to, I believe some human interaction who is truly willing to listen will make a difference. Sometimes some praise, understanding and compassion is all we need to feel we are not just less alone but also wanted and this creates some motivation in us. I am new in the application but if you send me a message I will reply eventually , if not I am sure there are many sweet hearted people here that know the pain of this, no one asks for trauma and illness
. You made a step by trying to reach out already for therapy and for someone to talk to and I find that great. Is there any support groups maybe your doctor or therapist could recommend? I know it can be hard to go but perhaps it slowly make a step too. Hugs
I find mindfulness meditation, in or very near my home (somewhere I feel safe) has the ability to desensitize me to everyday noises and occurances... Focusing intently on each sense individualy, exclusively, intently and acknowledging it's existence... After pulling apart what some of the inconstant but repititous activities of the surrounding world one sensation at a time accustom me to there existence, and hyperfocal observation of each singular sensory aspect if each event revalues the next occurance as seemingly insignificant in comparison. Merely a peripheral event, background level static of coexisting near other humans.
@LoneWolf1986
giving you a big high five for posting here and joining. I know how difficult that is to do. When I first found 7 cups I was in so much trauma I couldn't eat. I was sitting on my porch every possible day barely breathing . I found a good listener here to help me process my mountain of, childhood abuse, r&pe, workplace harassment and bullying. I'm a CPtsd suffere and I get where your at.
Baby steps is what I recommend. I started with a good therapist and learning how to live in the moment not in the past or in the future. Not easy to do this for sure...it's taken me years but I was robbed of my life and I'm fighting to get it back! Just keep looking everywhere you can for any little bits of help. I have 7 cups support, a therapist, one good friend and a good caring doctor. I do take meds for anxiety and severe depression. Trust me I don't go out much either. I am improving because want to live the life I deserve and was robbed of . Don't give up you deserve the best life has to offer including peace and connection. Best always đź’ś ABB
Hi I m sorry you are dealing w so much. I know how hard that can be. I run and hide if someone knocks on my door. If they walk by I jump up in panic and thats an improvement from before. I tend to keep my blinds closed and that makes me feel a little safer. Another thing that helps me is naming the ways you are safe out loud. Like the barrier of the door itself, any locks, or things you might have to protect you. Another thing that helped me was meditation. Start slow when you are less panicky. It's hard to pay attention or bring up visualizations in that state when you haven't practiced before. I recommend one called Leaves on a Stream. It can help you create an inner world that is peaceful.
The more you practice the easier it is to recall in the harder time. Or a body scan meditation. There is also a really good Netflix series called headspace about meditation.
It's good that you reached out here. That's a huge step.
It was very brave for you to reach out and make this post! You are not alone. DM me whenever you feel like it.
I used to feel super alone on my mental health journey.
I have severe depression, borderline personality disorder with a few “yet undiagnosed” schizophrenia symptoms.
Dissociation and body disporia happens quite often and I keep constantly losing track of time. Fibromyalgia is sooooo frustrating because I’m an artist and I need both my arms to be 100% so I can paint on canvas.
Recovery is a long term commitment and can be scary sometimes. You don’t have to do this alone.
