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Mashedpotato364
8,819 M Pacing Forward
PathStep 143 Compassion hearts922 Forum posts250 Forum upvotes318 Current upvotes318 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2023 Member sinceNovember 6, 2018
Bio

🏳️‍🌈Cptsd, depression, anxiety, chronic pain, chronically ill, dissociation







Recent forum posts
Sh after 10+ years
Self-Harm Recovery / by Mashedpotato364
Last post
 March 29th, 2023
...See more Hey y'all I'm new to this group but not to 7cups. I've had a series of events happen and have been flooded w abandonment fears that I can't seem to handle since it's w the two people that I have build trust w. Anyway I have been sh again since the last time I think was close to 12 or so years ago. I thought I had "overcome" it but maybe you never really do? I stopped because it didnt quite have the same effect as it did but now it's sort of the only thing keeping me grounded and I have done it repeatedly. I haven't been able to tell anyone else, not my therapist, as no one else been very present in my life or would understand but Im going you all here might. I'm hoping for supportive words but not looking for alternatives at this point.
Original poem #womenlovingwomen
Poetry / by Mashedpotato364
Last post
 March 15th, 2023
...See more Ended things Then disappeared Down the pier Not lingering In my ear With whispers of I'm here Seen no where It's as if You're not there You're NOT there And I don't care Wish I cared More than I do I'm so annoyed Avoid It's you I avoid Don't have to You're lost in the void Of your mind I'm left behind Again When will it end? This feeling won't end I've done all the bending I can bend Heart doctor send Me in Try to mend This can't just be it Ready to split In two No strings attached Just a bit I hold on a bit Can't let you go And I'm loosing my *** How do I quit? You don't want me That's it That should be it Yet I'd come running quick Just to answer your bid A chance in your bed A look in your head Now I'm straining my neck Leaning in for a peck But you're disappearing Far away as Quebec I'm watching you leave I can't let you leave Don't leave yet I need to collect What's left Of my hope Not ready yet To give up yet Not with you But on my own Self select
I need to go to the dentist but I am ashamed
Depression Support / by Mashedpotato364
Last post
 June 17th, 2022
...See more One of my biggest lifelong struggles w depression is taking care of myself, particularly brushing/flossing. I'm in my thirties but never thought I would make it this long. It was always an issue I would deal w later, if it ever came up. Well now it's to the point where I know I need to go get help. My gums are pulling away from my teeth and receding in one area and swelling in others. It's bad. Like really bad. I'm afraid I'm going to lose some teeth. I haven't gone in a few years because every time I do, the workers always say rude things and shame me for the state of my teeth. I just need help 😭. Shame is the hardest things for me to face. It pulls me so low that I feel as though I'm buried alive and struggling for breath. Today my gums have been pulsing so I think there might be an infection. It's simultaneously encouraging me to want to seek help and also hoping that it spreads so that I may not wake up again. I haven't told anyone exactly what is happening, just that I need to go to the dentist and am having a hard time going. I keep thinking about calling for an appointment but I can't bring myself to do it.
Giving up taking care of my mental health to take care of my physical health
Disability Support / by Mashedpotato364
Last post
 December 30th, 2021
...See more Hi I have just begun trauma processing and my physical health has taken a decline. I already have chronic pain and now I'm having even more pain. I haven't been able to work the past few weeks and need to move because I can no longer afford rent. My sister said I could live w her but in doing so I will have to change therapists because it will be out of county and a three hour bus ride to actually get there even if I could stay w the same therapist. I have been in so much pain that I need help. I can't help but feel like I am losing out on important work for my mental health which has been severe the last few years. I'm mad that my body is causing me so many issues.
Chronic pain
Disability Support / by Mashedpotato364
Last post
 February 27th, 2022
...See more My whole body is stiff and I wake up in the morning and can barely move and have to move my body slowly inch by inch. I have a physical job that I haven't been at very long and I thought the movement was helping but it feels like it's making things worse. I haven't been able to hold a job in a few years because of mental and physical pain. I thought things were getting better w pt but it's worse than ever. It's basically ever where but my hands and arms. I have cptsd and depression too so I'm sure that doesn't help. I'm scared that I'm going to loose this job too and I feel so much shame for not working and other people taking care of me. Any support or validation would be helpful. Thanks for listening
Cptsd journal
Trauma Support / by Mashedpotato364
Last post
 August 24th
...See more I have been feeling so misunderstood and not seen by the person I live w. We have always been close and even dated for a while. Yesterday they told me they don't want to hear anymore about my trauma. It's setting a boundary yes and it also feels like loosing a support person. We have lived together for about three years and thay are really the only person I have right now that's in the same area and they have been there to listen. It came as kind of a shock because it was after me telling them something positive and showing progress and they responded that they were done hearing about things. Right now trauma is all I know because I have been trying to learn all the ways possible to heal and do better. So I don't even know what to talk to them about. I know it's fair that they don't want to hear more. I just feel so hurt and invalidated. I'm scared about loosing the only person in my life rn. I feel so alone.
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