CPTSD Nightmare

Hi.

Something happened to me around 18 years ago. I don't remember the full details of the traumatic experience.

I was triggered three years ago and I remembered certain details.

Monday I had a nightmare that reminded me of this traumatic experience. I woke up sweating and couldn't get back to sleep afterwards. I couldn't stop thinking about the nightmare afterwards until I eventually ignored it I guess and forgot and got on with my day. My mind is constantly busy and distracted.

But I was trying to relax before, and then I remembered my nightmare again. I got palpitations, shaking and breathing fast. I know that I am safe physically.

I'm worried as I can't remember the details of my trauma and I wonder if my nightmare was actually me reliving it and not something my mind made up?

I feel so emotional right now and worried and anxious how much my nightmare scared me. I usually feel numb to what happened as I don't remember and I don't want too as that scares me too..

Over the past few weeks before my nightmare, my anxiety has been so heightened to the point I couldn't leave my house and will have panic attacks and feeling so uncomfortable and awkward about close relationships and family members (not involved in my trauma) I just don't know if this traumatic experience has been playing on my mind but I've been so distracted I haven't noticed until I had my nightmare 😔