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  3. im i just feeling sorry for myself?

im i just feeling sorry for myself?
emzy73 January 25th, 2015
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I suffer badly due to my past especially my childhood. But because i don't really know what normal life is am i just dwelling on the past? Just an insight into mylife My mum hated me from the minute i drew breath. She was abusive in every single way right up to adulthood. I was mentally abused every single day. I was r*ped when i was 6/7 by a stranger whilst playing in fields then battered by her for getting dirty ffs. My parents separated when i was 7 she continued her torrent of abuse towards me. This then involved her new partner aswell. When i was 13 her second husband tried to kill us. She was badly battered till i intervened and hit him stunning him a little. I got to the house phone to phone emergency number for him to come round ripped the phone from me strangled me unconscious. Dont know how long i was out but i managed to jumped out the window and phone from a callbox. It was like a murder scene when we returned home.......i risked my life to save my mum and then after i had even more abuse from her blaming me for it all. So was my fault my own dad left and now my fault my stepdad did that. As far back as i remember i have wanted to die....my life was un bareable I felt worthless. I then yet again suffered been sexually abuse whe i was 17 by my boyfriends dad. All the above is just a small amount of my life but effects me still each and everyday. Im in my 40s and still live in a dark place in my head. Should i off got over it all by now?

5
giggleHoney76 January 26th, 2015
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That's quite a history you've described. I don't think I can even begin to relate to the traumas you've faced, let alone try to talk you through them. I haven't the experience or the training.

Having said that, let me start with your last question first. That is to say that, no, I don't think what you have endured is something you should expect or be expected to "get over" like a sniffle or stubbed toe. You might benefit from assistance that only someone who specializes in helping people with such extreme situations is trained to provide.

If you are seeking such references, you might try http://www.asca.org.au/Home.aspx, or http://www.havoca.org/.

I hope you find the help you need and the solace you deserve..

emzy73 OP January 26th, 2015
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@giggleHoney76 thanks for replying and the links. I am waiting to see a psychologist but still two months away :-(

politeCup86 January 26th, 2015
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I'm very sorry for what u have to go through. I can relate in mom abuse very much my self. U give me hope that u survived that much . Im 28 and I didn't figure out my way out

emzy73 OP January 26th, 2015
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@politeCup86 Im sorry to hear that you also had issue's with your mother. I don't know your background but i find it harder now i have my own kids as this then proves just how crap childhood was. I hope you can work through the difficulties you have faced x

politeCup86 January 26th, 2015
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Thanks a lotheart

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