Trauma bonding

@jr50Has anyone have this, I have learned that I have stayed in a toxic marriage because of this, I have never been in a healthy relationship, I am back to feeling guilty about my poor choices, it is causing anxiety and depression, I am recently separated from a NPD, he is trying everything to destroy me, even using my kids, my community sucks, I have so many what ifs , I fear I will be homeless soon...

I can relate to some of the trauma bonding experiences with my ex. I get the sense that your experience may be more intense and ongoing than mine and for that I am terribly sorry. You do not deserve to be in this position. I think I can understand the tendency to feel guilty and ashamed about the choices we've made in regards to staying with an abusive person. In my eyes, you have nothing to be ashamed of. People who haven't been in a similar situation sometimes think it's easier to leave and get back on our feet than it actually is. You have done what you had to to survive and without adequate support it's even harder to get out. Please try to treat yourself with the kindness you deserve, which is a lot.

I don't have any real advice and please forgive me if my response isn't helpful. I just wanted to let you know someone is thinking about you and you deserve all the kindness as possible.

@jr50

why do we feel guilty? Everyone around me says its not my fault but I blame myself for getting into the situation and not getting out. He was arrested last week. I feel so traumatized.

Thank you for bringing this up