Tired of triggers making old traumas/survival behaviors come back in full throttle

Kinda had an anxiety attack because my guest teacher triggered memories of past happenings. Not gonna go into details of the past because that isn't really the point of this post. I'm just really tired that things that happened so many years ago (this particular one was 10 years ago) can come back and hurt you as if it was yesterday.

I'm really sensitive to people who are suddenly loud and brash. They could be really kind and caring, but the way they move or speak makes my brain go "danger!!" and I feel the need to become submissive and move away as unnoticeable as possible. I fool myself that I'm better now, and sometimes I feel like I am. Things that would send me into a scare doesn't. But then someone becomes angry/upset in my presence and I reverse into my old instincts. After these happenings, I'm back at square one and tense up at any sign of danger.

I'm just really tired and want it to fade. But when I have these attacks and triggers, the pain is just as strong as it was when it happened. It doesn't have to dissapear completely, I'll settle for a decrease really. I only wanna stop feeling like a broken human who pretend to be whole again by holding my pieces together with my arms and some crappy glue.