TRIGGER WARNING -RAPE
Hi I would like to share my story as i have never openly said it or discussed it out loud with anyone....not even with my boyfriend of 5 years. He knows i was raped 3 times but i never ever went into details. I was raped at 19. By a friend. I fear that i will be judged as people may say it was my fault but i know its not. I was single and enjoying a night out with my girls. This so called friend was married with 2 kids and i knew his family fairly well. I met him through a mutual friend and we clicked....i thought of him as an older brother. He would always keep me up and drop me off home. I didnt see any signals that would have led me to believe that he had bad intentions. But that one particular night i had asked him if he could drop off my two friends back home and he agreed. It was around 2 am on a saturday night. He came to pick us up from a club but he wasnt alone. He had a friend with him. I didnt think too much of it because i trusted him. He dropped my friends off and we were headimg back towards my house when i realised that we are going a different way. I questioned it and he said that he had to drop his friend off first. I started to feel nervous but i didnt know what to do. We stopped at a dark deserted place. This is when i started panicking and asking questions to which i didnt get a respond. Both of them moved to the back of car where i was seating. They unbuckled my seat belt and dragged me out of car while i was kicking and screaming. I was placed on top of the car bonnet and rhey started forcing themselves onto me. I felt so helpless. I didnt know what else to do apart from fighting and yelling for help and them to stop. I was treated like an animal. And i will never forget the things they were saying as they raped me....very low. I felt so dirty like im worth nothing. They kept taking turns. After they were done they moved me back into care eith a jacket on and one of them sat in the back with me.....to intimidate me. I was in a state of shock so i just sat there with tears rolling down while they laughed and talked as if nothing had happened. They even drove me home. And left me with a message saying they will not hestitate doing this to me again in my own house if word of that night ever got out. I ran into my house and jumped straight into the shower. And i just stood there for a good few hours. Endless day and nights of pain and misery followed. i tried reporting it a week later but was discouraged the way police were handling it by making me feel like im the offender and it was my fault. There are other incidents but i think i will leave it for another night. I cant stop crying now
I'm so sorry this happened to you. What a betrayal and violation you experienced.
Awesome job at sharing! I'm so proud of you for being brave and opening up when this was such a painful experience. That was incredibly hard I'm sure. You went through such a terrifying ordeal. And now to let this community of survivors in to share this pain with you - you're very strong.
Do you have any support to help get through this? Is your boyfriend supportive of you even though he doesn't know any details? It's good you found 7 Cups where you can share here and have support here.
Thank u very much. I will never ever forget it but i have moved on from all of those negative experiences. Im a happy person who is ok with everything. Sometimes theres just little triggers that happen and i feel like i need to share it. I have been my own support in this for a long time so im ok. My bf has his own issues that im trying to be supportive off.
It must have taken a lot of courage to describe that horrific experience. I cannot begin to understand your situation and I won't insult you with a bunch of platitudes and supercilious advice.
Thank you for sharing the details of how you felt. I want to understand more about what a person in your situation needs from others like me. If you case to share more, I'm here to listen. I hope you do. But, if you don't feel like sharing any more, I think I can understand that.
can i first echo Kristens words
what happened was truly a horrific thing to happen to you and i can not begin to understand how you must feel about it.
i am happy though that you feel you have reached a time and place to let it out and share it with other people in our community. we as a community are here to help and support you in any way we can and don't ever forget that.
wow i am amazed at your bravery and courage to put this down in writing and i only hope it has helped in some small little way for you.
I along with the rest of the listeners are here 24 hours a day for you if you would like to talk to one of us.
Thank u. Yes it does help just to just let it out and it is nice to know that if needed i can turn to 7cups for support.
@conscientiousLand1511 ...
I am encouraged by your bravery and openness. I am terrified to do something like this with my experiences. Someday maybe, but not today. <3
@cyanPlatypus6370
It is very brave to share openly. When you are ready, you will be able to share your experiences - whether to help you, help others, or for other reasons you might have for sharing.
@conscientiousLand1511 wow I am so so sorry this happened to you how aweful hugs xx