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TRIGGER WARNING -RAPE

conscientiousLand1511 February 4th, 2015

Hi I would like to share my story as i have never openly said it or discussed it out loud with anyone....not even with my boyfriend of 5 years. He knows i was raped 3 times but i never ever went into details. I was raped at 19. By a friend. I fear that i will be judged as people may say it was my fault but i know its not. I was single and enjoying a night out with my girls. This so called friend was married with 2 kids and i knew his family fairly well. I met him through a mutual friend and we clicked....i thought of him as an older brother. He would always keep me up and drop me off home. I didnt see any signals that would have led me to believe that he had bad intentions. But that one particular night i had asked him if he could drop off my two friends back home and he agreed. It was around 2 am on a saturday night. He came to pick us up from a club but he wasnt alone. He had a friend with him. I didnt think too much of it because i trusted him. He dropped my friends off and we were headimg back towards my house when i realised that we are going a different way. I questioned it and he said that he had to drop his friend off first. I started to feel nervous but i didnt know what to do. We stopped at a dark deserted place. This is when i started panicking and asking questions to which i didnt get a respond. Both of them moved to the back of car where i was seating. They unbuckled my seat belt and dragged me out of car while i was kicking and screaming. I was placed on top of the car bonnet and rhey started forcing themselves onto me. I felt so helpless. I didnt know what else to do apart from fighting and yelling for help and them to stop. I was treated like an animal. And i will never forget the things they were saying as they raped me....very low. I felt so dirty like im worth nothing. They kept taking turns. After they were done they moved me back into care eith a jacket on and one of them sat in the back with me.....to intimidate me. I was in a state of shock so i just sat there with tears rolling down while they laughed and talked as if nothing had happened. They even drove me home. And left me with a message saying they will not hestitate doing this to me again in my own house if word of that night ever got out. I ran into my house and jumped straight into the shower. And i just stood there for a good few hours. Endless day and nights of pain and misery followed. i tried reporting it a week later but was discouraged the way police were handling it by making me feel like im the offender and it was my fault. There are other incidents but i think i will leave it for another night. I cant stop crying now

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KristenHR February 4th, 2015

I'm so sorry this happened to you. What a betrayal and violation you experienced.

Awesome job at sharing! I'm so proud of you for being brave and opening up when this was such a painful experience. That was incredibly hard I'm sure. You went through such a terrifying ordeal. And now to let this community of survivors in to share this pain with you - you're very strong.


Do you have any support to help get through this? Is your boyfriend supportive of you even though he doesn't know any details? It's good you found 7 Cups where you can share here and have support here.

1 reply
conscientiousLand1511 OP February 4th, 2015

Thank u very much. I will never ever forget it but i have moved on from all of those negative experiences. Im a happy person who is ok with everything. Sometimes theres just little triggers that happen and i feel like i need to share it. I have been my own support in this for a long time so im ok. My bf has his own issues that im trying to be supportive off.

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giggleHoney76 February 4th, 2015

It must have taken a lot of courage to describe that horrific experience. I cannot begin to understand your situation and I won't insult you with a bunch of platitudes and supercilious advice.

Thank you for sharing the details of how you felt. I want to understand more about what a person in your situation needs from others like me. If you case to share more, I'm here to listen. I hope you do. But, if you don't feel like sharing any more, I think I can understand that.

1 reply
conscientiousLand1511 OP February 4th, 2015

Thank u. I would like to share my more especially if it can eventually help someone out. Right now i have to leave but the next time you are on i will contact u :)

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Timm February 4th, 2015

can i first echo Kristens words

what happened was truly a horrific thing to happen to you and i can not begin to understand how you must feel about it.

i am happy though that you feel you have reached a time and place to let it out and share it with other people in our community. we as a community are here to help and support you in any way we can and don't ever forget that.

wow i am amazed at your bravery and courage to put this down in writing and i only hope it has helped in some small little way for you.

I along with the rest of the listeners are here 24 hours a day for you if you would like to talk to one of us.

3 replies
conscientiousLand1511 OP February 4th, 2015

Thank u. Yes it does help just to just let it out and it is nice to know that if needed i can turn to 7cups for support.

2 replies
cyanPlatypus6370 June 5th, 2016

@conscientiousLand1511 ...

I am encouraged by your bravery and openness. I am terrified to do something like this with my experiences. Someday maybe, but not today. <3

1 reply
KristenHR June 28th, 2016

@cyanPlatypus6370

It is very brave to share openly. When you are ready, you will be able to share your experiences - whether to help you, help others, or for other reasons you might have for sharing.

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peacefulSoul8 June 28th, 2016

@conscientiousLand1511 wow I am so so sorry this happened to you how aweful hugs xx