Now
Everytime someone or better to say a man walks by the window, my house, my school etc I flinch cause I'm scared that they'll come over to me and touch me like he did. Everytime a man or boy touches me on my shoulder or even just my hand I flinch, cause what if they do something I don't want. Everytime I walk past men or boys on the street I cover up my body or walk the other way cause what if a no isn't enough. When I see male family members I stay as far away from them as i can cause what if they are thinking what he was. When traumas like mine come up on TV or a movie I freeze cause all I can think about is how he touched me when I was just a kid. I even feel scared when I'm trying to sleep, cause there are just to many what if's. That it became a when. I feel put down, used, hurt. I feel embarrassed and maybe not on here but in real life, in real life I can't even tell anyone cause I'm to scared that they will think I'm to weak.
you are not weak!!!! you sound like you have PTSD, but I'm not sure. you are brave for speaking out. I hope you can find healing. yes, it is possible for people to do bad things...but now you are aware and are better able to take up for yourself than when you were a kid...if that **** were to happen now, I'm sure you would go to authorities. it sounds like you are having trouble processing it
@sisan
thanks for your reply, i really apriciate it (:
i think i might have ptsd but i only really talked to dockters online and anominasly, they did tell me that they think i have ptsd but i haven't told anyone i know 'in real life" for various reasons i am also not planning on doing that, at this time. because of this i won't be able to get a diagnoses any time soon.......