My whole life

It feels like one trauma after another. Several sexual assults begining when i was 7 and the last when i was 15 all different people. I had a miscarriage at 16 that i still have flash back of once a month. Dispite my father being 6 years sober i remember seeing him drunkenly beat my sister and mother. I was forced into sexual relations with my ex 4 month after having a baby which resulted in him forcing me into an abortion. My first relationship was 3 years and he was occasionally physical and was verbally degrading and mentally abusive. Two of my friends commited suicode the same year and most recently my sisters fiance commited suicide by shooting himself. My mother father sister and i seen the blood all over the living room and i keep reliving the entire day. Im not coping well with it i feel like my mind is ruined. Before this the only literal flash backs i ever had were of the miscarraige. The first week after the suicide i was having constant flash backs of blood and scream crying and panic attacks two weeks later (now) its subsided but im having fladh backs of all of my other traumas. I feel like life is just always going to be one awful thing after another. Im having a really hard time.