Moving ahead from C-PTSD.
Hi!!!
I am Butters!!! I am a survivor of childhood trauma, commonly known as PTSD. I have had an extremely difficult childhood, teeanage and early adult life. I have just entered thirty years of age. Thinks are way gloomy in the past. But I am on the road to recovery. I have read around ten books about childhood trauma and recovery through kindle. I am really confident that I will move on. I want to share my journey of recovery with all of you guys.
Today I read the Introduction of the book:
Healing Your Aloneness: Finding Love and Wholeness Through Your Inner Child
By Erika J Chopich and Margaret Paul
This is a an amazing book. It helps me to calm myself. I will just share the quotation at the beginnig of the Introduction:
""" All the people we call "geniuses" are men and women who somehow escaped having to put that curious, wondering child in themselves to sleep. """ (Wishcraft - BARSARA SHER)
@butters45
I'm gonna check this book out :)
Yesterday I attended Group Discussion on "Trauma Therapy" in Trauma Support room. This is a very warm, lively discussion. The two leaders of the yesterday's session's chat were remarkable: DancingRainbow and Raventhelabyrinth. Thanks to both of them. I will try to attend group discussions on Trauma Support Room from now on. I think it occurs two days: sunday, monday.
@butters45 Hey Butters, I'm glad we struck a chord of hope in you. Thank you for saying so, it means alot to us. :) Yes we have a Trauma Support Group Discussion on both sundays and mondays from 2-330 pm EST USA time every week. We also hold a Trauma Support Open Chat on Wednesdays from 4:30pm till 6pm also EST USA time. Please do come! :)
The severity of childhood trauma and present stressful work and social environment making my life hard. I have a hard time concentrating. I have a hard time finishing the task at my hand.
@butters45 Awww, it sounds stressful.
It could be hard to manage life while simultaneously juggling with a lot of emotional, skills-hindering etc. baggage.
I used to say it could be like acting in the outside everyday world with just one hand because you need your other hand to keep turned inwards, to treat the wounds from the past, balance the harms, develop the parts that never got the chance to develop earlier etc... (This metaphor even helped me not to compare my work accomplishments to someone else's who is 'two-handed'.)
(Of course if this is not what you need to hear now, just leave it please :-)
Hugs (if you want them)
Em
@EmOnTheGo Thank you very much for your support. Your metaphore is perfectly Okay and it can be helpful. When I look back about the days, when I hurled into the depths of depression, comparing my achievements with others unfairly is one of the main reason. So thank you for pointing the metaphore. Please come by my Diary time to time. I will post about my struggles and path to recovery.
@butters45
I know what you mean. Do you know which types of professions are more accommodating for people with PTSD?
@butters45 I'm so glad for you! Also for your amazing bravery in the face of hardship, and perseverence in getting better.
Around 30, there was a turning point for me, and I heard that in several other people's life too, so it could be an excellent time to set your life on new tracks.
Welcome, and may life give you everything you need <3
@EmOnTheGo 
I cannot thank you for this encouragement. Please include me in your prayers so that this year and this decade can be the best of the best time of my life.
@butters45 Your Entheuasim towards your quest to find peace is Inspiring truly! 
Distraction Addiction
As I try to move ahead, with all the scars from my life behind, I find it very difficult. And I try to answer the question " Why it is so hard to unstuck?" . and In the quest, I found the answer. That is: I am addicted to Distraction. I am an avarious reader of world politics, sports news. Whenever, I feel overwhelmed or became nervous, I started reading newspapers online, browse youtube, and etc. Even in my workplace.
This is the addiction, that is hard to root out. But I am trying hard. One progress I have made in this aspect: is Identifying the triggers. I try to remain very alert, when I work or try to learn, to identify the triggers that lead to incessant browsing.
Even In my leisure, which in the past, comprised mostly of browsing hundreds of newspaper and wikipedia article, I made some good changes. Now, I go for a walk or call elderly grandparents.
And I think, this kind of steps is necessary to heal myself and moving ahead as a fully thriving individual.
@butters45 Oh, thank you so much for sharing this! I am struggling right now with reading addiction, and started to think it's rather an 'external stimuli' addiction. But maybe the best definition would be what you wrote, simply but efficiently 'distraction addiction'!
I also try to find the triggers, sometimes it looks like it's some general underlying anxiousness, but maybe there are specific triggers even then.
It's so great that you already managed to make some changes in your habits! Going for walks and contacting people, these are definitely different from 'reading the internet'.
As for myself, some mindfulness exercises helped me a lot. There's a Mindfulness Community here on 7cups, they even have a video library.
(I hope you don't mind I shared some of my experiences.)
By the way, I am amazed, and as Raveninthelabrynth said, inspired by your dedication and actual progress towards healing. Thank you for sharing I wish you a great day
@EmOnTheGo THanks so much for the valuable feedback. And your experience sharing regarding the distraction addiction is really really helpful Dont feel shy. I really welcome your input. Though I started this diary, think of this as your diary too....I am really willing to share authorship with you if you want.
And you know what? The distraction addiction is a very very hard addiction to deal with. Search amazon kindle store about this topic. There are some good new books came in last few years. This is a demon which is not easy to deal with. So, I declare war!!!
@butters45 I am so glad for your answer and encouragement Also for the recommendations, I check them out. Your last sentence made me laugh, thank you for that
@butters45 oh my gosh, yes!!!! To all of this! I was doing the same thing and instead of practising self care tactics, was engaging in distraction techniques as well- tv and internet. They did not nothing to actually help heal what was going on for me. Yet, some resources will list watching a show as a settling strategy. i think part of the key may be if there isnt balance to our activities / behaviors, or if theyre contributing to us zoning out rather than being present, grounded and mindful- then they probably are not healthy coping.
@purpleWest8143 Thanks for posting here. You brought forth a good point. As you have correctly articulated: Good self-soothing techniques are the ones which grounds you. So we have to choose carefully.
@butters45 as I read on the internet 😜 but this avenue, is helping to bring me insight, clarity, and connections with others with possibly similar experiences. So 7cups doesnt necessarily count in my books if I am using it appropriately