I Am Not Weak
I am not weak. I am strong. I can rise above. I can solve and do everything.
I am powerless. I am defenseless. I can't do anything. I am nothing.
What is the reality. What is my reality?
Was this always there . Why does it keep fluctuating . What's my purpose here
W.W
Do I need a lot more help? Do I need to be fixed? Am I broken?
I am fine, I don't have problems. do I 
"When you name the demons in your life -- then you can eradicate them. But before you name them -- they can haunt you forever." --
"..But when you don't know how to name something, then you blame everything on you."
@humorousBeing8966 - I think those are really powerful quotes - I hadn't thought about it that way before, but I think it's very true. We internalize and blame ourselves for things that we can't understand or don't have another name/explanation for, but that's not always fair to us to take on.
For many, time travelling is just a myth
For me it is very real.
Every time I wake up I'm back there
Seeing, hearing, feeling, smellling, sometimes even tasting.
I know what I need to do
What is required of me.
But every time I'm brought back,
There's nothing as effective as
Piercing the skin.
Letting the maroon run out.
For a small cost each time,
I'm able to travel back to the present.
A small price to pay
For the opportunity to keep going.
@humorousBeing8966 - You are such a great writer and I think you set a scene so clearly that many can relate to. When you do feel right back there, what helps you to ground to remember that you're not there anymore?
@Anomalia
I guess I have to open my eyes and look around...or distract myself in videos...or take deep breathes...or smell something different and strong? Maybe new and different people or a new scenery... it comes and goes...
Pretending like the low moods, the ending it all thoughts, the not wanting to do anything are separate from me so I can keep shutting it up and get going...but we all know the backfired and that's why they took me away to the hospital involuntarily. I don't know how else to deal with them.
@humorousBeing8966 - Do you feel like there's anyone you can talk about those moods and thoughts with rather than pretending they aren't there?
@Anomalia
Right now I can only take honestly and fully with my therapist :( but soon it'll all go away...I hope
@humorousBeing8966 - Talking honestly and fully with your therapist is a great step and I hope that they are able to help you work through those feelings and continue to take steps forward 
@humorousBeing8966 I can relate 💓✨
@humorousBeing8966 - Hi there, it's been a little while and I just wanted to check in on how you're doing. Hope you're doing well!
