Childhood Mental Illness * Major TW*

Hey y'all, major major trigger warning for this story. Please take care of yourselves. I can't share at home, so I thought this might help. I don't know. Sometimes it feels like I never got a childhood. I had my first panic attack at eight years old. I got hit and beat up all the time at school, and I would have panic attacks in the bathroom. I thought I was dying. At nine, I started self harming out of the pressure and panic and guilt. When I was ten, I got an eating disorder due to the bullying and self loathing I felt. I restricted and lost so much weight. I could count all my ribs and got dizzy walking between classes. At eleven I attempted suicide for the first time. Eleven years old, and I thought death was the best option. At twelve I was r*ped. They, three, chased me down. I tried to fight, but two of them held me down. At thirteen I tried again. At fourteen, I tried again. At fifteen I got my scars from sh. At sixteen my eating disorder came back. I'm ten months clean from sh now, but im still struggling with trauma and flashbacks. I dont know what to do, but I thought sharing might help. It just feels like I’m broken, that no one will want me in the future because of it, once they figure out what all happened.