@Avaray & @paytonfaye2005

@Avaray @agreeablekite4304

Hey kiddo xx

@Avaray It took forever for you to come here... wheres Kite?

Hmmmm sounds like someone familiar...

Hey cheeky chop 😏

How u doing Payts...

A lot has happened over the months Payts.... Kite and quite a few others got quite hurt by certain parts/people on certain communities on 7 cups and as much as it broke her heart and others she felt that the only way to keep her whole was to leave, and for our kite as we knew her, that would not have been an easy decision because this place, you, I meant a great deal to her. A decision like that would have been to try keep herself whole inside and work on repairing things that needed to be repaired after those things happened.

I know it's a shock and you probably might be angry (which is actually hurt and sad) I get that kiddo.... It wasnt an easy time.. Xx

Hugs kiddo x

@Avaray

Why didnt she say nuttin to me at all... Why does nobody ever stay? I hate getting close to people cause then they leave. How could she leave and not say nuttin to me why? I am so mad at her. if people were mean to her then atleast she had me and you... I am so frustrated. give it time you will leave me too... EvERybody leaves... Been back in foster care for maybe a month and already got kicked out of school... I am so mad and sad and frustrated... Maybe she didnt care for me like i thought she did. SHe didnt ever say good bye

Hey kiddo.. I don't really know what to say.

I know if she was thinking clearly without all the stuff that went on, she would have said goodbye... It takes a lot to break kite, she tried to show the strong side of herself to us but she had inside a very soft heart, and all the things really hurt her and yes she messed up by not saying goodbye.... it didn't mean she didn't care... Think of all the time she did spend time with us here...

Payts... I would be lying if i say i would never leave, no one can promise another person that, as much as we need that in our lives to make that "place inside" feel ok, it's not a promise anyone can keep. Things happen that we cannot forsee

When you have disappeared at times i wasn't sure if you were coming back, and I worried about you, but I knew that if you were ok it didn't mean you had forgotten me, it meant that you were busy coping or doing things that side, sometimes things happen by you and sometimes by us, we live such diff lives and things do happen, but it doesn't mean we never cared or forget each other. I've told you before, you left your footprints on my heart, here or not, I won't forget you.

Payts.. You don't say much about Molly anymore...

What happened at school..

Ps i saw the photos on your feed, is that you.. They're really beautiful kiddo

@Avaray I know kite cared, just sad she didnt say nuttin to me. And i went back home was there awhile. I hated going back there. The abuse was there everyday. I tried killing myself and was in the hospital for a long time. Then I came back here to molly not that long ago. I dont know what to say or how to feel. Cause i am mad at her that she didnt fight for me. Nuttin got any better. It just got way worser. Now i am here and got kicked out of school. Do u remember the girl who bullied me before. Well she wont leave me alone. So i hit her. now i am not the same payton. I dont care anymore about anything. Im just sad and angry all the time... all i do is cry... I care for molly, but im sick of getting close to people. Everyone who comes into my life never stays... I feel so alone, all the time... when i went back home, it was real bad. Seems like i lost touch with everybody from 7 cups. It was so hard here and didnt want people to worry about me no more... I know i am a big problem. Maybe i deseve the abuse i got....

No kiddo, those people need to be in jail... You didn't deserve any of that, deep down i think you also know that, but by saying that to yourself maybe it just feels somehow more easier to deal with then the reality of who did hurt you.

Naaa Payts is still in there.. Maybe she's hiding just a bit further away... But she's in there, the external stuff is a reaction to trying to cope, our tender hearted, spunky Payts is still there, she explodes at first reaction and then when she thinks things through she knows what's right, wrong, truth etc.

I know i shouldn't say it (the psychologists would probably say I'm enabling you to do things) BUT... She probably deserved it 😡

I'm sorry you're not at school though cause that's really important, because that will help u a lot to do what you want when you're bigger.

How long are u away for...r you allowed back?

Payts are they taking legal action against the people who have abused you, it worries me that they are not locked up, because from what I've heard u say over the past couple of years, they really should be.

I'm glad you're back with Molly though kiddo, when u can and feel able to u need to have a sit down chat with her about what's going on inside...

You're a good kid Payts, the outside stuff is just you reacting to the hurt inside. You have potential... Never give up ok...

@Avaray

No they get away with everything. I miss you and kite. I hope she know that we love her, and miss her. How is ur son? I am having a hard time this go. I am very hard to deal with. I am back in school. we had a meeting and they seperated me and that girl. But I have to go to anger classes.. I aint happy about that tho.. Not at all. do you talk with Kite at all?

Hey kiddo

I'm really glad you're back at school, it feels like forever at the time, but it's a few extra years and then you'll be out, you probably won't see some of those people again.

Anger classes... Hmmm dont get mad at me... 😏 but it maybe is a good thing, you have got a lot of things going on inside...

I think kite knew we loved her, she had a special place in our hearts and us in hers, she felt almost like an older sister for me, like someone that would sort out anyone who would mess with her friends 💜

I'm not understanding how they keep getting away with things Payts, because they have removed you from there more then once, they must know something was really wrong, Sorry for keep bringing it up, but it just bothers me that they are not in jail where they most certainly belong. I hope one day that will get sorted out 💜

My son is doing ok, learning more words and he will say a few words here and there trying to communicate more, we say, good words and that makes him happy. He likes to act grumpy now and again... Sort of doing the teenager thing 😁

I saw the drs yesterday and they were happy with the progress of my hand so I'm allowed to take the splint off, although i still sleep with it on. Now i have to do exercises with my hand so i can use it properly again, soo glad it's off! 8 weeks i had to wear that jolly thing, put me into a weird space, so that's a bit of a relief, kinda stiff and sorish though, but that will come right with time and exercising it.

Anyway kiddo ive been so busy at work and other things i almost feel like falling over at times, so I'm going to send u big hugs and see u later.

Proud of u Payts xx

@Avaray

I dont know if they got into troble. They dont tell me nuttin. I dont hear nuttin... They abused me my whole life so idk why they get into trouble now tho... They deserve to be abused slowly. I dont need anger classes, I am fine. People just got to stop making me angry. do u see my new picture. Remember i was blond. Now i got brown hair.

Ps.. Profile pic is beautiful xx

I did c your pic, u look beautiful, but u r normally beautiful xx why the change of hair colour. I dye my hair to but to hide the Grey's😀

Yes i can also think of slow painful ways to sort them out..

They have abused u your whole life Payts, but the diff now is you are older and they can't hide things from people as much as they could before, hopefully now when you are speaking about it people will start to listen more.

They stole a lot from u Payts, and the things u need to work through are not easy and take time... but you my little friend are a precious soul, a caring beautiful young lady, a person of character, and have an inner strength all this they have not taken from you. I've seen this in you since the beginning and still do, I think that's what M also sees, even when you do stuff that makes me want to kick your butt sometimes because i worried,😕😀 i know that's just you trying to deal with the pain inside etc, but just saying that's the way I always have "seen you" hugs kiddo.

@Avaray

im in the hospital. cut meself got 8 stitches. im anemic and underweight. been here since last night. i wanna leave.

@paytonfaye2005

Sorry kiddo... What happened, 8 stitches sounds hectic.... Hugs Payts

@paytonfaye2005

Hey kiddo

Sorry I have been studying for my exams, working and also havnt been feeling to well.

How u doing after your time in hospital....

You never told me what happened?

Hugs my little friend. Xx🌹🌹🌹

@Avaray

@paytonfaye2005

Hey Payts

How's it going.....

Hugs kiddo ❤

@Avaray it's going good. Been kinda sick. Seems like I always am!

@paytonfaye2005

Hey kiddo xx

Not nice been sick.. Stress probably makes it worse too xx

I'm also sick been off work for almost a week, i feel like a bad word.. Hate been sick.

Thought I'd just say hi and send some hugs

Hugs Payts xx

@Avaray

Thanks for being there for me on my birthday. you are very special to me. I am just hurt that everybody else I thought cared about me totally forgot. People I never would have forgot did.. I cried alot. My birthday has never been special ever. I guess i am stupid thinking this year would be any different.... But thanks hun.

@paytonfaye2005

It's ok Payts, i can understand that x and I'm really sorry... Hugs

Just wanted to let you know that you are special though kiddo 💜

@paytonfaye2005

@paytonfaye2005

@paytonfaye2005

Happy birthday Kiddo

Sending lots of love and hugs xxxxx

💕

@Avaray Hi how are you? miss you so much

@paytonfaye2005 moved thread to discussions as this seems more of a discussion and checkin area is for the team to post them

@CaringBrit

Hi Brit x

Does this mean Payts got her birthday wishes?

@Avaray hey avaray and im confused what were they

@CaringBrit

Hi Brit xx

Your message above said @paytonfaye 2005 was moved to discussion thread, so I thought you moved her birthday wishes. I really wanted her to get them because I need her to know that someone has remembered her birthday...

So I was confused 😔

@Avaray it as just this thread i moved the full thread so I'm not which birthday wishes was moved

@CaringBrit

Hi x

Thanks I understand now. The birthday wishes are still here and she can still see them if she chooses to come on the thread.

Just wanted to wish her, she has had a special place in my heart.

Thanks Brit. Hope you are keeping well x

@Avaray

How are you doing? I miss you so much

@paytonfaye2005

Hey Kiddo

Life's been very different... How u doing that side?

U in lockdown?

Xxxx

@Avaray

I am okay. Doing school virtually but tomorrow I start school. Not looking forward to wearing masks all day but it's okay. How's ur son doing? Have you talk to our friend. Thought she'd be back by now but he still isn't.
I miss you

@paytonfaye2005

Hi Payts xx

How was going back to school.... Kind of weird after doing things online, I don't like wearing a mask.

My son is doing ok thanks, having his friend coming for a sleep over this weekend it's nice for him as he also has d.s. so they sort of understand each other.

I think when she left, she wasn't planning on coming back, she got really hurt and also had a lot of things going on in her life.

I'm glad to see you are still around, I hope you are getting support and frienships on site here xx how's things going by you, are you still wilth Molly? Have things settled down a bit?

Sorry Payts, My sleeping meds are kicking in kiddo, sending love and hugs xx

Miss u too ?

@Avaray

i AINT on here much anymore. School is nice but the mask is annoying. Wish I could come for a sleepover too. It would be so much fun.

@paytonfaye2005

Hey kiddo xx

I'm glad you've settled into school, I also don't come on here much anymore xx

The sleep over went ok, a big thing for me as I haven't had many people in my house for years, long story. But they seemed to enjoy themselves, although my one dog seemed to not take kindly to him being here, and kept on barking at him everytime she saw him, he's used to animals as he comes from the farm, but my dog is kind of large( ridgeback) so I think it made him kind of nervous.

It's nice for my son as they both have down syndrome and sort of understand each other easier " talk the same language" type thing.

Are you still with Molly... Are you feeling any better in yourself?

Just want to let you know that I pray for you Payts xx

Sending love and hugs xxx

@paytonfaye2005

Happy Christmas Kiddo xxx