i’m still struggling deeply with my accident

i got in a very severe car crash this past wednesday, it was raining really harshly and i was taking one of those big loops to merge back onto a route. my car hydroplaned horribly, i went in one direction intially, hit the curb before i was able to go in the other direction. i lost control of the car and i hit a pole head on. it fell on top of my car. i can still vividly see the accident, as if im still stuck there. i can still feel the broken glass particles all over me, the cold air coming in from outside due to the back windshield being shattered by the pole falling on it. i’ll be at home and constantly it’ll come back to me randomly, the panic and anxiety will hit me and then i’ll be crying from i don’t even really know what, maybe fear. i can barely sleep, whenever i try my mind goes back to the crash, whenever i close my eyes it’s all i can see. the wrecked car, being alone and disoriented in the minute it took me to get myself snapped out of shock and call my dad. i can’t forget the feeling of pure unadulterated fear and panic coursing through every nerve, bone, vessel and inch of my skin.

my parents have been really supportive, they don’t even care that the car is a total loss, they’re just very relieved i’m okay and only came out with a harsh seatbelt rash on my neck. the pictures of my crash are not pretty. it’s honestly a miracle that i came out almost unscathed. but i’ve always struggled talking to my parents, we have a long history of them being emotionally absent which we’ve been trying to rebuild over the past 2-3 years. i just still find it hard to talk to them in fear of being judged or invalidated. so i’ve just been feeling really alone and scared after my accident, even though my parents have been supportive, on friday i brought up what would happen when i needed to drive to class on monday night directly after work. my mom told me that im driving. and i checked the forecasted weather for monday. it’s supposed to rain. i tried saying i was scared to drive so soon, especially in the rain but they told me the sooner i get back behind the wheel the better.

i just, i don’t know what to do. i’m deadly terrified to get behind a wheel again. especially not even a week after the accident. and i’m still struggling with coping. i am seeing a therapist, who i have expressed majority of these concerns to (a lot of them started after our session bc that’s when my post traumatic stress symptoms kicked in) and i do plan on talking to her about all of this when i see her again. but i would appreciate any advice, insight or just kind words, thank you <3