Twice
When I was 12/13, my dad came home drunk and my mom started arguing with him. I’m not sure what I said but I spoke up for my mom. I was sitting on the floor when my dad hit me on the back of my head. All I could think to do was run out the back door. I didn’t come home for a week. I’m 2022 my friend helped me process all of that and I realized I was the only one dealing with that trauma. Now I’m 33 and back in January my daughter’s father hit me the same way while we argued. He’s aware of what I went thru. He moved out and every time I see him I have so many emotions. I have anger and end up being ugly to him which I don’t want that especially around my children. Ex said he would pay for my therapy but I don’t think he really means it. When we talk about it he just brushes it off like no big deal. It felt closed fist but he said it was opened regardless it’s upsetting after 9 years on/off again. He had never hit me prior. Not sure if I can process this situation the same as before.
@amtippqt09
Greetings, amti,
Please remember to include a trigger warning in any post that may upset others.
I am so very sorry to hear that you have suffered through abuse the way you have. Unfortunately, I can relate to a lot of what you shared. Domestic violence can cause lasting damage that is very challenging to overcome. I certainly support and encourage the idea that you seek out the help of a mental health professional. While the barriers to quality care are very real, I wouldn't want you to rely on your perpetrator to fund that resource for you. Are there any community resources or agencies in your area that could assist you with accessing low-cost care?
Here is some additional reading you may find helpful:
Coping After Intimate Partner Violence | Psychology Today
💞