Twice

When I was 12/13, my dad came home drunk and my mom started arguing with him. I’m not sure what I said but I spoke up for my mom. I was sitting on the floor when my dad hit me on the back of my head. All I could think to do was run out the back door. I didn’t come home for a week. I’m 2022 my friend helped me process all of that and I realized I was the only one dealing with that trauma. Now I’m 33 and back in January my daughter’s father hit me the same way while we argued. He’s aware of what I went thru. He moved out and every time I see him I have so many emotions. I have anger and end up being ugly to him which I don’t want that especially around my children. Ex said he would pay for my therapy but I don’t think he really means it. When we talk about it he just brushes it off like no big deal. It felt closed fist but he said it was opened regardless it’s upsetting after 9 years on/off again. He had never hit me prior. Not sure if I can process this situation the same as before.