Moved back home
Hey y'all. New here.
I came home for a holiday and decided to stay as a family member wasn't doing so well. Previous to me moving I did live with this family member helping with things they could not do well on their own...I do have plenty of other family members who live close by for preference
Family member had surgery and needed help with watching the dogs while they were in hospital. I was working over time each week but said I could help, but would also need help on weekends as those days I pulled 14-17 hour shifts. The weekend came and I became sick on Saturday night. Reached out for someone to help as I usually make it there Sundays to stay throughout the week. Noone responded. I found out my niece was there every day after school for a few hours with her mom picking her up but didn't attend to animals if I wasn't there. I knew some shifts of ran longer than usual they may have an accident as they don't go into crates while Noone is there. After finding out niece and her mom were there every day and still coming home to accidents, I set my boundaries about staying there. I live about 30 minutes from family members house and work 45 minutes away while other family members live 5-15 minutes away, 2 of them passing the house to and from work.
I asked for a little help and didn't receive it openly. I finally said I could no longer help with the animals because I wasn't able to have any time to myself between work and driving to their house.
My family no longer talks to me, holiday plans were shared with all but me. I feel I could have an accident and no longer be here and they wouldn't care.
Setting boundaries felt great at first but coming from a family that was so close and now it's like I don't exist has really hurt me.
@quickwittedCucumber89
I'm really glad you posted. What you went through, I can clearly see how you are so hurt. That was not a good way to treat you when you have done so much and it is so out of your way. You have every right to feel how you are feeling.
It's unfortunate that sometimes even family members can be takers instead of givers. Do you have support other than your family, such as any close friends?
You didn't deserve to be treated this way. This is a problem they have - not because you set a boundary. Unfortunately, sometimes we see people's true colors when we limit what we are willing to do. Take good care of you with this hurt. Self-compassion is important when you're hurting so much.