Mattering to others
Sometimes I feel like the pain I still feel from past traumas (mostly in childhood) doesn't matter to others much because somebody else probably has it worse than I do. Since I'm not part of a minority group, for instance, my pain MUST not be "as bad" as others who are suffering.
I know this is probably not the case, but the messaging from both online and offline just makes me feel like trash for asking for help because I'm someone who is of a privileged group and "surely I don't need the help as much as other people".
It's rather infuriating and invalidating. I understand full well that I have access to things that others don't and I do think about that a lot, but that doesn't mean that my pain doesn't matter. It matters just as much as everyone else's.
You don't have to respond, I'm just mostly venting. Please understand that I mean no offense to anyone. I rarely talk about my past traumas so it may sound like I'm exploding at people but really I just wanted to get that out there.
@cafedaydreams Trauma doesn't care about status or who has what. If you're struggling with past trauma then it's affecting your life and you should have the same support as anyone else would. It is invalidating when someone acts like what you went through wasn't a big deal because then you end up gaslighting yourself into thinking that maybe they're right. So you might shy away from reaching out for help and support when you need it. You might stay stuck because you're afraid or worried that everyone will think what you went through doesn't matter.
You have just as much right to heal as everyone else does. Don't let anyone minimize what you went through
@cafedaydreams It's really good you are taking some time to vent, it may not always feel that way but you deserve to be heard and deserve to feel better. You seem to have a pretty healthy view on your privilege as well (understanding privilege doesn't invalidate your suffering and all). Remember that many people are more than happy to help and it's okay to look after yourself. Honestly, I'm sure you will continue to grow and take care of yourself thanks to your strong sense of self awareness. Again, it's great that your are venting and I hope you continue to work through your trauma one step at a time.
@cafedaydreams it doesn't matter whos rich and who's poor, it doesn't matter who's had it easy and who's had it hard, it doesn't matter where you come from. We all hurt the same ways, we all cry we all have feeling just like everybody else.
you do matter, and your pain should be just as valued as everyone else. I hope you find the support you deserve ❤ gives you a giant tiny hug
