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I don't know what I'm experiencing (DID, ADHD, CPTSD
beautifuldisasterx0 August 2nd, 2023
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I'm experiencing something strange. I am diagnosed with DID. At one point I had identified 17 distinct alters I could communicate with. Now I really am only able to feel/notice/interact with less than 10 of them. I'm not sure if this is a sign of me healing and those alters have "integrated" to be more part of the whole or if it is me becoming more dissociated and unable to connect internally.

Additionally, I'm not sure if I'm healing or if I'm experiencing a new alter that is emerging in the midst of some Chaos. Good news is if a new alter is emerging she's really focused and attentive to detail and structured, she's helping with work and keeping the apartment clean and my self care. Or maybe it's that all these good things that I'm doing are just me finally taking care of myself... but how does a habit that I had given up on years ago basically formed over night. Like I feel like a completely different person but I also feel very level headed and aware... Thoughts. Healing or experiencing a new alter?

3
mytwistedsoul August 3rd, 2023
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@beautifuldisasterx0 Alters can go dormant. They're still there just asleep until they're needed again. If something happened that scared them they could have gone into hiding. Does any of the others have an idea? Like maybe they're still there but don't want to communicate with you?

You mentioned a new one emerging and that there's chaos - could the ones that are missing have merged to create this new one? It's possible. Which does lean towards healing imo but I can't say for certain
WorkingitThrough2 August 18th, 2023
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@beautifuldisasterx0

Hello, From my own experience, my insiders went silent to after being traumatized by my therapist. I left her services but every since then my insiders have not been the same and much more silent and withdrawn. I can only feel the emotions of a few only when I am talking about them or get triggered by something. I am not sure about another new alter forming, but anything is possible. Do you have a therapist that could help you figure out what is happening?

When my life is turned upside down I get more emotional and withdrawn for no reason at all. I hope you can soon get the answers to your questions. There is a group chat that takes place that might help you figure things out as well. @mytwistedsoul host a Wednesday chat and @writetoHeal42 also host DID discussion where you can ask others, on Sundays it is open all day. Come join us and ask your questions, we would be glad to have you. These chats take place in the Trauma chat room. You can also ask to be added to the tag list where they will let you know when and time of these chats.

mytwistedsoul August 18th, 2023
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@WorkingitThrough2 *waves* ❤️ advertising! 😊

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