Finding Closure
Hi everyone, I wanted to ask about closure. Recently my therapist asked me what closure means and when I can have permission to fix some current relationships by contacting my old friends (the ones I chat with sometimes) or letting them go. I mainly wanted to ask as it will be almost a year since my turma happened and I want to find closure to process my emotional state and be happy again. I know it sounds far fetch but to me... I feel at a loss since for the longest time being neglected and people just leaving as I was a kid made me think that people don't need reasons to leave or not care about you... even after my turma some would say "Here are the real friends and fake friends" but I guess maybe I just felt like... is everyone fake or generally care. here on 7cups everyone is caring and I can see that but in real life... I feel like no one showed how to be honest or know how to comfort difficult moments.
Opp sorry, I went a little over board. What I wanted to ask is, how does one find closure when feeling stuck and trying to move on but still feel like you cant open up to anyone without fear of getting hurt again?
@Vivikun9
I think the idea of closure is a nice idea but in general i am not sure that is possible .........
people it seems just move on walk away and forget about everything ......
if you still have some sort of relationship with old friends it IMO ends as chats...... get farther and farther apart .............. or just slip our minds we might think what if i contact X .....but in the end saying this is the end.......only opens more questions and doors.......
people extend bad friendships or family things until they seek "closure" again.
@Vivikun9
ideally when you are feeling stuck are not able to open up to anyone you need to analyse the emotions you are going through, find alternate sources to fill up those emotions . once you are done with that you are step closer to find closure.
for specific example , it would require specific situation ideally
@Vivikun9
I think what you are also asking here and forgive me if i'm assuming. Is how to trust again ? To let the influence of the past go and try again with people, despite how scary a prospect that may seem. I agree with you and i am lucky to have found 7 cups a safe and caring space. I do believe that such people exist in the " real " world too. I think that it will take time, and gentle exploration for you to find those who value your worth and who will be kind. It takes courage to keep on trying and you are braver than you realise. Gentle, baby steps back out into the world will help your confidence to grow. And you will attract loving people to you. All the best xx
@sooty41
I guess in a way I think that what I'm trying to ask myself and answer myself "how can i trust again?". I guess my closure is me saying "how can I love again if I don't want to love again to avoid getting hurt again."
@Vivikun9
There is no easy formula or answer to this. Trust is the ultimate gift that we can share with another. But it is like a delicate butterfly, each wing beat is a beat of its fragile heart. We need to learn to hold one another with great delicacy, enough so that they feel safe and we feel safe. Also we must trust to open our hands and allow others their freedom. With a deep belief and security that they will return.
Step ever so slowly, keep it all within gentle and loving limits ....but be brave enough to extend your hand and allow the butterfly to come to you. Your love will attract love , just take it slow, enjoy every moment and give each other the space and love to grow.