Create Opportunities for Change
Quote from Outgrowing the Pain
It happened, it was painful, it cannot be undone. It has predisposed you to certain vulnerabilities, but you can make positive changes. You survived the abuse by developing good survival skills. You now need to replace those protective skills with responsive behaviours.
It is not enough to understand why you may be shy, get threatened, or tolerate abusive relationships; you must now create opportunities for change.
@turquoiseBranch8244
Do you speak from personal experience, if it's ok to ask? If so, how might one really begin?
After these life altering experiences, the first thing that is impacted the most is our self esteem and will to make an effort into well even living let alone living nicely :( so how does one even begin to create a change when they feel they don't deserve any good out of it!
It seems hard but I think this is a powerful message and I feel inspired with your thought process already <3 thanks for sharing
@Optimisticempath
Yes, I do speak from personal experience. I have childhood trauma, I still have, but I am lucky to be able to say that I am going up hill since a couple years ago.
At my lowest point of life, I was lucky I had called someone to talk, we talked for 5,6 hours so I didn't go down any further. I hated that feeling so much that intrinsically I knew I had to start going up. I told myself I cannot depend on anyone else anymore because next time I need someone and that person might not be there anymore.
I think because of this manifestation, I stumbled upon a book called "The Genie Within: Your Subconscious Mind - How it works and how to use it". This is a book with self-hypnosis exercises. I have read the book and found it very helpful. If you do not care about the reading, you can work on only the exercises. Luckily someone uploaded the recording to Youtube (https://youtu.be/bCRmm_o0s2M?t=2179) and "Track 5 the Clear Routine", that helps with cleaning up old mess in the subconscious and installing motivational and positive thoughts, starts at 36mins 19s. You can also download the transcript and read it to yourself instead of listening to the audio. I religiously do this exercise every night before sleep. I must have done it for at least a couple months.
Eventually I feel like a different person. I became more positive and were able to start feeling emotions again. Then I focus on making myself feel good first instead of handling the trauma. I started with reading a book called The Happiness Project, to learn how I can make myself happy in the small little things in daily life. With this new found happiness, I realized now I feel ok enough to try to deal with life again. Then I started at the bottom of the basic human needs (https://www.simplypsychology.org/maslow.html), then move upward, to build my life back up.
There would be ups and downs on the way. But the important lesson is to not lose hope and just keep trying, . (The self-hypnosis exercise would make sure you do this) After all, one thousand steps journey starts with one little step. It is okay to go back a few steps back and move forward again. Eventually, you will be able to make more steps forward rather than backward!
I hope this sharing would be able to help you or anyone reading with their journey.
Feel free to ask any further question if needed. I am willing to answer any question, as I have been once helpless and do not wish to see others suffering.
Many love.
@turquoiseBranch8244
Thank you for sharing this. I think its empowering to understand that simply withstanding pain and tolerating it won't help empower you for the future. Every painful event translates to an opportunity in which we can learn to grow and change
