Anxious-avoidant attachment style

@Stormandshelter

I developed this during trauma also sensors like touch are  broken. I do therapy I have done different ones and healing is possible. 

I had to learn and continue to learn to work on my triggers like avoidant . 

Rooting for you're healing. 

🐸Kermit 

@Stormandshelter

It sounds like you’re grappling with some really challenging feelings right now, and I want to acknowledge how difficult it can be to come to terms with the way your attachment style affects your relationships and sense of self-worth. Discovering that you have an anxious-avoidant attachment style, especially when you already feel like you’ve been struggling with it for a while, can be deeply disheartening.

It’s entirely understandable to feel sadness and frustration about this realization. Loving people and wanting to connect deeply, yet feeling unable to fully accept or trust love due to past experiences, creates a painful conflict. It’s a complex situation when the very people you care about are also the ones whose actions have reinforced feelings of unworthiness or mistrust.

Feeling guilty about this discovery is a natural response, but it’s important to approach yourself with compassion rather than self-judgment. Recognizing that you have this attachment style is a significant step toward understanding yourself better. It’s not a reflection of your character or your capacity to love; rather, it’s a way to frame the challenges you face in forming and maintaining close relationships.

One way to deal with these feelings is to start by being kind to yourself. Acknowledge that it’s okay to have these feelings and that it’s part of your journey to healing and growth. It might also be helpful to gently challenge the beliefs that you don’t deserve love or that people will inevitably hurt you. Sometimes, reflecting on positive experiences and relationships where you felt valued and accepted can help shift this perspective.

Building trust and learning to accept love can take time, especially if past experiences have made you cautious. It’s a process of gradually allowing yourself to be vulnerable and recognizing that your worthiness of love is not contingent upon others' actions or past experiences. Engaging in small, positive interactions and nurturing relationships that have shown consistency and care might help in slowly rebuilding trust.

Remember that change is a gradual process, and it’s okay to be patient with yourself. Your feelings are valid, and it’s important to honor them without added guilt. By recognizing and reflecting on your experiences and being compassionate toward yourself, you can begin to move toward a place where you feel more secure in your relationships and more at ease with accepting love.

@Stormandshelter

It’s very challenging to feel that way. I used to be almost to an extreme but it was my comfort zone. I’d think isolated would help. Sometimes we all need a break, but it’s small steps. Sometimes just a text, a check in event if it’s only a few exchanges, can help.

Also, whether you feel that way or not, it doesn’t define you, it doesn’t mean there aren’t different approaches you can try - some might be comfortable, some might not be and that’s ok. You’re working through it and doesn’t mean things can’t or won’t feel easier. 

Balance, taking time for yourself too, it’s understandable when we try something new and out of comfort zone to need to decompress. It may be easy to think about what may have felt uneasy, but don’t forget the good things too. 

You’re the best judge of how you feel around certain people, part of connecting with others can be also connecting and learning to trust ourselves when we recognize this interaction may be a little uncomfortable but want to give it more time, and when you feel too much. 

Takes some effort sure, but trial and error and if nothing else, if you want to do something, feel excited, would probably enjoy yourself, those could also be ways to help feel encouraged. 

Hope you feel better and take a bit of control as opposed to accepting how you’re feeling and what you’re going through now doesn’t mean it will be forever. Patience and kindness for yourself.