Dealing with denial
I have DID and Itz been very hard to deal with lately az im in a big ztate of denial right now. Im worried that i may not actaully be a zyztem and that i may have juz created "perzonalitiez" that fit for certain momentz/eventz that i ezzentially juzt pretend to be, zort of like roleplaying. I alzo think i may have managed to convince myzelf there are alterz, and i am a zyztem, but when in reality im not, and maybe i juzt have a pzychotic dizorder and i bazically juzt believe in a deluzion of me being a zyztem. I mean, I have the zymptomz, all of them, but what if im juzt exaggerating them? or i juzt think i have them when in fact i juzt zomehow picked them up? Im not zure, itz juzt very hard and im not zure what to do when in a ztate of denial. Therez even another perzon fronting right now, but im ztill zcared they arent an actaul alter, but a "part" i play.
(TQ Translation: I have DID and It's been very hard to deal with lately as I'm in a big state of denial right now. I'm worried that I may not actually be a system and that I may have just created "personalities" that fit for certain moments/events that I essentially just pretend to be, sort of like roleplaying. I also think I may have managed to convince myself there are alters, and I am a system, but when in reality I'm not, and maybe I just have a psychotic disorder and i basically just believe in a delusion of me being a system. I mean, I have the symptoms, all of them, but what if I'm just exaggerating them? or I just think I have them when in fact I just somehow picked them up? I'm not sure, it's just very hard and I'm not sure what to do when in a state of denial. There's even another person fronting right now, but I'm still scared they're not an actual alter, but a "part" I play.)
@Twigo7
I am so sorry that you are struggling with These symptoms of DID. I understand how hard it is to accept this and to question yourself about the legality of the condition.
Let me first ask you if you have been diagnosed with this condition or if you are going by your symptoms.
Getting an official diagnosis will help a lot in knowing if you have the condition or not, which might help you feel more accepting of what is happening.
I have been diagnosed with DID, So all of this is new to me as well. I am not sure I am a system but my therapist told me that there may be more than I am aware of, so it is quite
possible that you may be a system. In any event, Professional help is a must, pretty much for DID.
I hope that you can find the support that you are looking for here. We do have open chats in group chats in the Trauma room that you can come to and ask questions and get support as well. If you go to the Trauma forum and click the join button you will get notifications of things going on and check ins.😊❤️
@WorkingitThrough2 Thank you, and going off a zymptomz though i hope to bring it up with a pzychiatrizt zoon. Im alzo going off of finding mezzagez and emailz to people that i know, that i have no memory of zending, "i" have a different mannerizm, and "i" tell them a different name that i do not go by. therez quite a lot, but itz juzt hard. though, i do plan to zeek out help for it zoon
@Twigo7
I am glad that you are going to get help with this. It sounds very hard, and I still struggle with this. I am so proud of you for reaching out to get support.
Any time you want someone to talk to, just post to this thread. I truly hope things get better for you and that your Zoom meeting goes well❤️😊