[TW SA] What is COCSA?
COCSA (child on child sexual abuse) is a form of SA where both the perpetrator(s) and victim(s) are minors. No adults are involved in COCSA.
Some perpetrators use physical force, threats, trickery or emotional manipulation to elicit cooperation, it also can include non-coercive situations where the initiator proposes or starts a sexual act that the victim does not understand the nature of and simply goes along with, not comprehending its implications or what the consequences might be.
- There is an unfair power dynamic between the children (this can be either in age or in intelligence or in physical strength)
- No explicit consent has been given for acts of a sexual nature
- Sexual acts go beyond what is "age appropriate exploration" with a focus on sexual gratification(making out, penetration, picture taking etc.)
COCSA between siblings is called inter-sibling abuse. When victims of inter-sibling and/or child-on-child sexual abuse grow up, they often have distorted recall of the act, such as thinking it was consensual or that they were the initiator.
Perpetrators are often (but not always) victims of child sexual abuse or COCSA themselves, or get introduced to things such as pornography at an extremely young age.
COCSA is pretty common but not often talked about due to intense shame, and gets dismissed as harmless ("We all played doctor when we were young", "it was just experimenting") . This is why we don't really know the prevalence. It's estimated that as many as 40% of children who are sexually abused are victims of COCSA. Child on child sexual abuse comprises more than one-quarter (25.8%) of all sex offenses.
Treatment for COCSA usually happens at a later age if it happens at all. Common treatment is trauma therapy such as EMDR and exposure.
I hope this will help some of you understand COCSA, something I've personally been through at the age of 6. If this is something you want to talk about with a listener do not hesitate to contact me. My ears will be open and I will never judge you, you were only a child after all.
If there are any questions do ask them here or send me a message.
@TheJoxter so informative 💕thanks for your kind offer to support and answer questions too
@TheJoxter. Thanks for posting about this.
@TheJoxter
Thank you so much for posting this. It brought up a lot of emotions for me, having gone through it from about age 4 - 14 (I still have gaps in my memory about it). people don't realise it can happen. Both children involved in this type of situation really do need help and it's up to everyone to recognise it. Thank you for spreading awareness of this!
@ClaraRoseDreamer first of all I'm so sorry that you have also been through cocsa, how brave of you to admit this since I know it's no easy feat. I also learned years later that this had a name and that I wasn't alone. I'm very convinced that awareness is so so so important. Perpetrators indeed need as much help as victims, especially since they're often (not always) doing reenactments of SA by adults (or were sometimes even COCSA victims themselves) or things they've seen in (extreme)pornography.
@TheJoxter
Thank you so much. I had a similar experience where I never knew it had a name, and even that it was a form of abuse. It really helped me feel like my trauma was valid.
We are definitely not alone in this. Thank you for opening up about this and providing a safe space for others who have experienced this too