Is it best to stay silent?
I know the first advice people jump to when they're told someone is being abused is to tell a teacher or call for help. For me, this doesn't seem like what I should do. I won't go into details but my dad makes my family's life hell and I am really struggling to cope with him. However he isn't like this all the time and he could be a lot worse. I feel like reporting him would cause more pain than this family needs, but idk what to do?
@gentleLime404
I don't want to lead you into doing anything you'll regret. But if you are struggling then i believe it is best to talk to someone, does your mother know? Could you talk to her? It is important you are not in danger at home. If you ever need anything message me!
I know it is hard to speak up when you feel you can't. I had people tell me what to do then got annoyed at me for not taking their advice. I can't tell you what to do but talking to someone you know might help. Sorry this is happening to you , can you talk to you dad and tell him how how his behaviour is effecting you? Like tell him it's scary for you and it's not right to be scared of your dad. I thinks its your dad who needs to change not you, but you can't change people cos they gave to do that themselves, but if you dad knew how bad your are effected it might be enough to make him change. I hope things get better for you. @gentleLime404
@Huggingarms honestly I can't talk to him but thank you for the support. Sometimes I feel so isolated with this problem but I feel better now ppl know (even if they're strangers) 💜💜
I know what you mean, sometimes it is nice knowing people are here to talk to you.ivhope you have someone to talk to here. You can talk to me if you want.i hope you feel better soon.@gentleLime404
Sorry for the spelling mistakes I have been sick and not concentrated properly. @gentleLime404
@gentleLime404
Hi there, when i was a kid, my dad did the same to my brothers, my mom and i, my mom would say its better for us not the answer him, "just ignore him and he would stop" she says. But today, i am 26yrs old, and he continues doing the same. However. it has became worse and i sometimes feel as though silents was not the best way out because my life today has been impacted alot by those silent moments of letting myself coping with my dad's controlling ways.
I wish, i had told someone but i didn't and now i feel like its to a point where it cannot be fixed.
My Suggestion is, talk to someone to whom you are very close with about what's happening, keeping these things all to yourself is not healthy.
@gentleLime404 silence is never the best policy, but there are levels of telling on an abuser. are you or anyone else in your family at risk of serious bodily harm? have you or anyone else been injured seriously by your dad in the last month? if so, seek help immediately, because assault is illegal. in the US you can dial 211, Infoline, to get referrals to your local violence prevention centers.
talking about the abuse here, or in 1-on-1 chats, is appropriate of course. you don't have to keep secrets or hold back, when you find a listener you trust. as long as you don't give out personal identifying details, you are safe to break the silence. thank you for asking questions and talking here!
if at any time your dad becomes a physical danger to himself or others, it's time to dial 911. but again, there are levels of "acceptable" abuse. while one family may function well with hurt feelings and broken furniture and plenty of bruises, another family may need the police immediately to intervene to prevent fires, broken bones or even loss of life. basically, you have to go with your gut, on a day by day basis. I wish you well.
I am still struggling with my mums controlling behaviour although I am aan adult. I stayed silent when I was a child but if anything her behaviour is getting worse. She imposes so many rules on me. She wants to be the centre of attention. If I so much As contradict her she shouts and swears at me. I have been diagnosed with clinicaal depression. My trigger was my mums controlling my mums behaviour. U I cannot stick to all her rules eg she tells me when to eat. She tells me that I have got to go back tko university.
