I am very Angry
I found out yesterday that I am, in fact very angry.
I didn't want to be an angry person. My dad got so angry when I was a kid and it scared me a lot because I heard it. It was a constant. I flinch when I hear yelling, sometimes. So, I decided I wouldn't get angry anymore.
I had a lot of emotional abuse in my childhood. My father also grabbed me to prove points about certain topics, and so have other people. I still struggle with physical touch from men to this day because of what he did and the stigma my religious school had around boy/girl relationships.
Yesterday I realized that I am so freaking angry, not just about this, but everything else in my life. To the point where yesterday night I was screaming. To the point this and my mistakes are all I think about. To the point where I have trouble sleeping at night. I spent a lot of yesterday screaming into the abyss.
I don't want to leave the house anymore. I don't want to go.
Hi my friend, I am so sorry about the everything that happened to you. I would've cried so bad if these things were for me. Emotional abuse is really scary, and I am glad that you say it out. Feeling angry is right, because it isn't fair to you that you are going over these things. I am here to listen.
@optimisticCranberry2655
im so sorry that you experienced so much trauma in your life. Anger is not a bad thing if you don’t take it out on yourself or anyone else. Feeling the feelings is part of the healing process. What has helped you when you have felt angry about other things in life?
Anger is ok if short and directed and expelled ........ not a constant emotion .....
anger can get out of control being angry about one thing and it spills over on everything else. we can develop a instant response to be angry about the smallest of things.... you grew up around it and did not want to follow the path to anger but did .... so what strategies are you using now to quell it.?
being aware is a big first step ... then knowing it and dealing with onset is easier then in full blown anger....
@optimisticCranberry2655
i understand, both of my parents are angry people too and i noticed i copy of lot of what they do to me even when i try not to. it broke my heart when i found out that my girlfriend is scared to talk to me because i get angry so easily and it's not just like some things, it's lots of things and things that are really important and should be discussed. i think lately i've gotten better and i notice myself getting upset and i try to control it and watch my words more and it seems to be working with her but at school with other people it doesn't, i snap so easily and i got into a huge argument in the middle of class w this boy and it was so bad i ended up skipping the rest of class mostly out of embarrassment. forcing yourself to not get angry isn't the answer, in fact facing it is more important and helps because you need to be able to know when youre getting upset and learn to control it so you dont scare or hurt loved ones like the adults in your life did.
