Hello I hate to put this on people but I feel like I need some support
I'm miserable, my mom acts like I'm this horrible person who doesn't help around the house. I'm 17 got my license coming up to a year in November so I want to go out and do things with my sister and go to work and talk to the two friends that I have. I work at Walmart so anytime I go in I take about 20 minutes to talk to my favorite person because I never see her outside of work and she helps with my depression. If I'm taking to long for my mom she flips out I understand if she needs somthing in a hurry but half the time it isn't. I run to Walmart about 4 or 5 times a day because I forgot something or she wants something else and gets mad if I forgot something or if they didn't have it, I can't control that. I help around the house all the time, letting out the dogs every 2 hours about (since our dog is old she can't control it very well) and I do it but if I ask if my sister can do it for that one time everyone goes after me. We had to deep clean the house and my sister has gotten surgery just 4 days before, and she needed to be moving for certain reasons, but she didn't help at all and I did everything and you don't do what my mom wants she gets mad and flips out on you. I had asked my sister to help me feed our cat (12 cans of soft food) just open them would be fine but she through a fit about it and how she couldn't bend down even though she'd been doing it a couple minutes earlier so now she's using it as an excuse to get what she wants. I understand my mom has a hard time with some things my parents are not divorced but my dad works a couple states away so she takes care of the animals and my sister mostly I take care of myself, I pay for my own gas and things that I need I help pay for food sometimes but she gets mad when I ask for a couple dollars for a game or something when she needs to pay me back 3 thousand dollars. I dont mind not getting the money because i used that for food so i ate out of that. I dont mind helping out but when I do I do something wrong for her so I get yelled at . I go out to do something with my sister o get yelled at to come home because the animals outside are fighting she doesn't have a job she never leaves the house she could at least go outside for a second and stop it then having me drive back five minutes to stop it. I feel like I'm doing something wrong I can't talk to her about it or she yells and says I don't do anything I'm useless and a bitch for the way I acted. I feel like I have no freedom has a teenager. I'm only aloud to go do stuff for her not for me she get pissed when I want to go out and do things and tells me no. I want to talk to my dad about it but I'm not sure how. I dont mind helping, I'll help when I'm needed so I dont know what I'm doing wrong i may have a little attitude sometimes but Im in a bad mood almost all the time because of it but I still do what I'm asked.
That sounds really rough. I'd go crazy if my mom was that extreme about needing me to do things for her like that. I feel like I went through something similar in my later high-school years, but nothing as bad as that. My mother once yelled at me for not putting lettuce on my own sandwich. It was more yelling because she expected me to do better, but it wasn't necessarily just for her benefit or to please her in some way.
Maybe it would be good to talk to your dad about it. At least vent your frustrations and what you've been going through. If you're dad is the too-busy-to-talk type, then maybe you should write out a concise letter of everything you feel and everything you've had to do. Probably add what you're missing out on too. You could either read it to him over the phone or just send it to him as a letter. Hopefully this helps.
Best wishes, Cain
@BTJMSA010509 It sounds like your mom doesn't appreciate the many things you do around the house, limits your freedom, isolates you from your friends, puts you down by calling you names, and blames you whenever something doesn't go the way she wants, or she's in a bad mood. You are not the cause of her unhappiness; rather, it is her attempts to control your life and her refusal to take responsibility for her actions that are causing unhappiness to her and to you. These resources may be helpful to you: https://www.7cups.com/traumatic-experience-help/ https://www.7cups.com/family-stress/ https://www.7cups.com/boundaries/ You might also benefit from talking to a teen listener about this. You are far from alone in being treated this way, and I hope you find the understanding and support you need.
