Can child abuse (evolve?) to domestic abuse?
By child abuse to domestic abuse, I am no longer a minor but still live with them.
Due to reasons concerning conversations that I "heard" (eavesdropped) when I was younger, I try to follow everything my family, mostly grandparents and parents, wants me to do: from the things I should or shouldn't say (I learned to filter everything i tell them because they use it against me or for guilt trips and blackmail) to major life decisions like what I should major in college (took law instead of gender studies) because they pay for my tuition and I live under their roof so. BUT, apparently, those are just suggestions and I have freewill (no, I do not).
My parents user to make me sleep standing, pinch me, give me the look that says I did something wrong (everything) and ai should shut up, hit me with slippers (flip-flops), hanger and their hand/s. I'm mostly terryfied of my grandfather because he's unpredictable. We could be joking one minute the next he's threatening to beat or kill me because my views didn't sync with his or I "raised" my usually quiet voice to make it easier for them to hear me. Basically they just swear at me and tell me I'm an idiot in three different languages on a daily basis to the point where they don't have to say it anymore because it loops in my head for days.
@rainbowturtle I know corporal punishment for children is a very controversial subject, I'll only say that I disagree with its practices due to my own traumatic experiences. However what you are describing is not a custodian's choice in punishment but abuse. I think you're absolutely right, it did evolve into domestic abuse. You definitely do not deserve this treatment and I hope you are able to find a safe place to stay soon.
Please stay safe, you are in my thoughts. Take care 
xx
@rainbowturtle Im so sorry to hear of your experiences and I agree that this does sound like abuse rather than just strict parenting, the fact that you have had to learn behaviours to avoid reprecussion is a big sign that you are a victim of the abuse they have given you oer the years. The other thing that stuck hard was you account of your grandfather and not knowing where his moods will be or where you stand with him. It is a state which constantly keeps you on your toes for sure, and it is so difficult too because these are family so you feel there is some loyalty you need to give them or that you are stuck with them, you can decide what to do now you are an adult you can leave this situation if you wish, you do not deserve or have to be treated this way. Unfortunately as this situation has continued for many years I cant be sure that their behaviour can be changed just by talking to them. There may be a way you can learn to love them and distance yourself enough from them so that it is that you get them in your life without being hurt by them. I wish you all the best, feel free to contact me by pm of you want to chat more <3 x
@sunshineKitty58 I would like to leave my family/move out. But I'm still financially dependent on my family. I feel like talking to them won't to anything because the type of behaviour my family especially my grandfather have is ingrained in our culture. The eldest male is the head of the family and women serve the men. Boys are more important because they carry the family name (this has been implied through every conversation we've ever had). Don't talk when grandfather is talking and don't state your opinions/contradict him--just smile and nod to everything.
My guidance councelor told me that maybe it was my fault for being disrespectful (I don't leave my room unless its for food or bathroom or the family needs me for something). Reporting it to the authorities as abuse won't do anything because this kind of "discipline" is still considered as normal.
It has evolved in to domestic abuse. Tyoyou deserve to be treated better
@rainbowturtle this may be selfish but I'm also glad there is someone in such a similar situation to me, it's uncanny. It's like having to walk on a path of foil without making any sound. The smallest mistake could disrupt everything. I hope your problem will come to pass when you move out and maybe you could find a way to solve it.
Yes it can. I am been abused by my mum although I am an adult.
Yes.
