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rainbowturtle
681 M Embraced 5
PathStep 17 Compassion hearts19 Forum posts92 Forum upvotes89 Current upvotes89 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2019 Member sinceMarch 23, 2016
Bio
Still a teenager but legally an adult with anxiety, depression, and gender dysphoria among other things. I'm not a qualified therapist or any type of medical personnel. But I am a qualified friend for anyone who needs to rant their problems too. Just tell me if you want my advice or opinion. Because I'll probably seem boring during chats.
Recent forum posts
Relapsed into my old ways
Alcohol & Drug Addiction Support / by rainbowturtle
Last post
 May 8th, 2019
...See more I only drink when I'm extremely stressed or angry. I just had a shouting match with a family member a few days ago. I haven't drank alcohol for stress for a year. I think it might contribute to my chest pain and difficulty in breathing. I thought I was going have a heart attack a few hours ago. Does anyone know an alternative to stress drinking aside from listening to music, isolating yourself in a small room or writing? Because I am out of options and smoking does not help at all.
Can child abuse (evolve?) to domestic abuse?
Trauma Support / by rainbowturtle
Last post
 July 13th, 2017
...See more By child abuse to domestic abuse, I am no longer a minor but still live with them. Due to reasons concerning conversations that I "heard" (eavesdropped) when I was younger, I try to follow everything my family, mostly grandparents and parents, wants me to do: from the things I should or shouldn't say (I learned to filter everything i tell them because they use it against me or for guilt trips and blackmail) to major life decisions like what I should major in college (took law instead of gender studies) because they pay for my tuition and I live under their roof so. BUT, apparently, those are just suggestions and I have freewill (no, I do not). My parents user to make me sleep standing, pinch me, give me the look that says I did something wrong (everything) and ai should shut up, hit me with slippers (flip-flops), hanger and their hand/s. I'm mostly terryfied of my grandfather because he's unpredictable. We could be joking one minute the next he's threatening to beat or kill me because my views didn't sync with his or I "raised" my usually quiet voice to make it easier for them to hear me. Basically they just swear at me and tell me I'm an idiot in three different languages on a daily basis to the point where they don't have to say it anymore because it loops in my head for days.
How do you know that you are anorexic?
Eating Disorder Support / by rainbowturtle
Last post
 March 21st, 2017
...See more I'm sorry if this is triggering to some people But I would like to know. Because there are times when I just forget to a week (maybe a few days) but I still drink water. Then there are times times that depression kicks me in the face along with some other things and I don't have the energy to move much less eat. I feel fine. I don't get sick. But people who just met me or those I pass by think that I am anorexic when I'm just naturally skinny.
Depression and my dysphoria
Depression Support / by rainbowturtle
Last post
 March 15th, 2017
...See more I apoligize of this doesn't make much sense. Depression usually kicks me in the face when I identify as either both male and female or agender or agenderflux. Because I don't know how to cope when the identoties sync and the agender spectrum recognized it as real.
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