Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-in Sunday, 25 February 2018
Hello everyone,
What a busy and exciting week we have had with all of the special events! I hope that everyone was able to participate as it evoked so many emotions within me. People were very open about their experiences that alone was enough to motivate me to become more involved. 
If you feel like talking about it, there is one item that I see quite often in many discussions. There is understandably a great deal of emotion surrounding those who have harmed, bullied, failed to validate or assist us in our time of need. My experience was very similar in that I spent a great deal of time looking outward at the person or people who did not treat me well. It was an attempt to either change their behavior, understand their behavior or try to change myself with the hope of no longer feeling vulnerable. In reality I had absolutely no control or responsibility for the other person's poor choices and/or behavior. It wasn't until I began to look within focus on myself, my feelings and responses to their behavior that I began the healing process. It was a wonderful gift that I was able to give myself after a long time of resisting that act of self-compassion. By removing the focus from them, I was healing myself and becoming stronger. In essence, taking the power away from them.
How do all of you focus on your healing by emphasizing your well-being as opposed to the desire to change or understand another's poor choices or harmful behavior? Have you found a sense of peace with the knowledge that you are empowering yourself by practicing this act of self-compassion?
If this topic is not one that you wish to discuss today, I would love to hear about what is happening in your healing process or how you are feeling. Do you have any plans for a favorite activity? 
Be well everyone and thank you again for supporting me while I was taking care of my parents and not quite feeling myself. This community is very important to me and even when I am not as active, I am still thinking about you and your progress.
I do hope you find some bright moments in your day. Much love ~
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How can I start to focus on myself when there are still people with their mentality out there? People who run the same academic and career circles as me, who will rationalize criminal behavior and invalidate the reality of the situation?
@humorousBeing8966
Hi Being,
I agree that it is extremely difficult to listen to some of the comments that are so far from reality. I wont excuse the mentality as it is either manipulative, ignorant/uninformed or people using mental illness to explain it when the unthinkable happens (FL).
There is a practice that is a part of being mindful that I try to use when I encounter challenges like this. I remember that it is important for me not to simply react to these people as they have no right to infringe upon my peace of mind. This does not mean that you have to remain passive forever as is often a misperception. It means considering the most productive thing you can do to act when (and if) you are inspired to do so.
Some things end up being irrelevant to me and by waiting and not reacting, I havent suffered the pointless feelings that go into a debate with a closed minded individual. When they are important, I can address it with passion, clarity and piece of mind.
This seems like a long answer to your brief question, but how will you feel if you allow the people to interfere in any way with your healing process. It is about your wellbeing, not their opinions or uninformed comments.
You may not be able to change them but you can continue working on your your inner health and lead a good, productive life. Dont allow anyone to interfere with your goal.
If at some point these events are still with you, you can become an advocate for change 💛