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Trauma Support Community Check-In for August 2024 - Don't Be A Bully Month

audienta August 5th
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Hello everyone,

welcome to this month's check-in! This month is "Don't Be A Bully Month"!

don-t-be-a-bully_1722879429.png

Bullying can happen to everyone at any age. It can have a massive impact on someone's mental health and can even cause depression, PTSD, and anxiety.

Why do people bully? As a few examples, people can bully someone out of jealousy, because they feel threatened, or because they want to express power. Often, bullies have been victims before, which can cause a negative cycle. 

You can recognise bullying for example when people claim credit for the work of their target, spread rumours about them, or turn people against the victim. As a bystander, you could try to use humour to redirect the conversation, walk with the victim to help diffuse potential interactions and check in with the bullied person to let them know that you support them. (source 1)

And if you're bullied yourself, you could try the following strategies:

  • Decide when you respond; sometimes it might be better to avoid the person.
  • Make eye contact to signal that you're self-confident.
  • Try to make space between you and the bully and limit your interactions.
  • Document the offences to use when filing a complaint or reporting the bully's actions. 
  • Consider working with a mental health professional to cope with the mental effects of bullying.
  • Talk to your co-workers/students, friends, and family to feel supported and not alone. (source 2)

Dealing with a trauma-related mental health disorder can make you an easier target for bullies and being bullied can be traumatic. Therefore, there is a connection between bullying and trauma. If you're reading this and have experienced bullying, please know that you're not alone. We're here for you.


Trauma Support Community Check-In for August 2024

1) What is your favourite strategy to stay cool during hot days?

2) Have you ever experienced bullying yourself or as a bystander? How has it impacted you?

3) What has helped you to deal with bullies, as a victim or bystander?


If you have a question you'd like me to ask at the next check-in, please let me know!

Take care,

audienta


You can get added to or removed from the trauma support taglist here.

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10
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@audienta

Thanks for the wonderful and helpful post audienta.


1) What is your favourite strategy to stay cool during hot days?

Ice cream, gelato, sorbet or sherbet. Ideally all of the above in a delicious cacophony of flavours.


2) Have you ever experienced bullying yourself or as a bystander? How has it impacted you?

I've experienced bullying myself by singular people and groups of people, both professional and layperson. How it's impacted me is I'm now arrogant and over-protective in an attempt to compensate. I also carry a wild dog and coyote deterrent everywhere, prepare mentally for the worst that could happen and spend all of my time by myself unless I need to run an errand and talk to an occasional clerk or something.


3) What has helped you to deal with bullies, as a victim or bystander?

Positive people, helpful videos, goals and affirmations.

audienta OP August 6th
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Hey @communicativePond1728

I had to look up sherbet - everything you mentioned sounds great! I also really like sorbet and icecream.

I'm really sorry to hear about how severely bullying has affected you. Thank you for sharing though.

And I'm glad to hear that you have found some support. I hope it can help you continue healing until you feel safe again.

communicativePond1728 August 12th
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@audienta I hope so too I guess...but I don't want to hope if that makes sense. I want to commit and be disciplined enough to make it happen.

That's what makes helpful videos like William Donahue series and the audiobook The Six Pillars to Self Esteem and my motivational speaker so important to me.

And working on myself too is important to me because I recently met someone who I'm excited about, and called the Hope for Wellness Helpline today when I was feeling overwhelmed (They've been good and helping me since the pandemic.). And so many people on here of course have been so helpful.

Setting goals and affirmations helps too because I can overthink a molecule into a multiverse and having some destination in mind really helps me stay on track and put my thoughts out of delululand into something more concrete. 


I also use cards too like Homebound self-care tarot, colour psychology, indigenous wisdom, everyday spirituality and such. And journaling...gratitude journaling I've found especially potent. And hydrating, hygiene, sleep, etc. anyway how I do go on

Tinywhisper11 August 11th
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@communicativePond1728 hugs pond ❤ being bullied is a horrible thing😥 hugs you tightly ❤

Tinywhisper11 August 11th
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@audienta how I'm keeping cool, my carers have been giving me two cold showers a day, to help me stay cool, a lot of fans and definitely icecream😋

I'm not really sure if my upbringing was bullying, I guess they were bullies. But in a different kind of way, I don't know what my owners would of been classed as🤔

you mentioned that most bullies were hurt first, so it's kinda like a bad repetitive cycle. Which I get to a certain extent, but that's not a good excuse to hurt others. I honestly could never imagine hurting anyone else ever. So how come that's such a normal thing that people bring up??

audienta OP August 12th
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@Tinywhisper11

I'm glad that you get supported in staying cool.

What do you mean by owners?

Hm, I totally agree that it's not an excuse. I think it's more like part of an explanation of why bullying keeps being a problem. 

Tinywhisper11 August 13th
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Trigger warning: sexual abuse, human trafficking

@audienta I had 24 owners, sex slave🙁 sorry

audienta OP August 13th
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@Tinywhisper11

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that!

SummerKay2024 August 12th
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@audienta

Thanks for posting this check in🌼

1) What is your favourite strategy to stay cool during hot days?

I love eating fruit and staying inside with the ac 😆

2) Have you ever experienced bullying yourself or as a bystander? How has it impacted you?

I have experienced bullying . It impacted me to be kind and to be careful with my words of choice. 

3) What has helped you to deal with bullies, as a victim or bystander?

Ignoring the words and tons of self love so words didn't hurt so deeply. 

Kay (Puffer) 🐡✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️

audienta OP August 12th
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@SummerKay2024

Hey Kay,

Oh, yes, ACs are great to stay cool.

I'm glad to hear that the bullying had a positive impact for you as well!

Self-love is so important. I'm glad that you could practice it to be less affected by the bullying.