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Substance Abuse and Infidelity

Wencanan December 5th, 2021
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Earlier this week, my son’s dad had a relapse and he acted out. He stayed up all night, got on dating sites, contacted old flirts, and sent a payment to a prostitute. I sent him away and for all I know he followed through with the prostitute.


What troubles me the most is that I caught him once or twice a day and he told me he was sorry, promised he wouldn’t do it again, yet continued to engage. The trust completely broke.


Right now we are separated. He is sleeping on the couch until he can find a place to live or I can find a reason to forgive him. Unfortunately, I have forgiven his substance abuse and ill acts before after a 9 month break.


His sobriety lasted about 4 months this time. When he uses, he is not a person I want to be with. When he is sober, his actions are normal and loyal.


I’m not looking for advice. I just wanted to share my week. I’m in therapy and I take medication. This is something I’ve been dealing with for many years. It’s just very hard to stay strong and pursue his sobriety.

3
redMoon5704 December 6th, 2021
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@Wencanan

I know all too well how you feel. My husband struggles also. He's been maybe a year sober. I don't trust him anymore, simply because for 2 years, he would tell me he would quit and then slip up. Now he drinks all the time. I hate that too. I just have no desire anymore

redMoon5704 December 6th, 2021
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Forgot to add, I'd rather my husband to be sober also. We are starting to be unhappy with each other. And he keeps asking me to do them with him. And I hate that, he has no morals

Wencanan OP December 6th, 2021
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I’m sorry you are dealing with the same situation. It’s truly difficult to stay strong for two people and to continue to hope for a brighter future. Even during the best times, there’s those moments where I’m left with a negative thought either about the past or a worry about the future. It’s definitely not where I want to be in life at this time. I feel envious of those who are lucky in life and marriage.