I hate my mother
I am here for the first time so forgive me if I am writing this on wrong place. When you see a daughter shouting/hating on her mother you always think the problem is the daughter. Mothers are said to be someone who loves their kids unconditionally. But that's not the case with me. I am 17 right now and I will not ever call her my "mother". Ever since I was a kid I remember her treating me differently than my siblings, I have a younger brother and older sister. But our relationship only worsened and its not like I not tried, I tried to more nice to her but she never cares. She cusses at me from 2 years. I was a little overnight from 6 years she always used to fatshame me. If I eat she had a problem that I eat too much but because of that I started eating lesser and lesser. Really small portions of food but still she had a problem. At a moment I started eating one time in day that too just some fruits. When I didn't eat food she told my dad I waste food. Recently, she made something and me and my siblings ate equally. I ate the last one and next day she tells me that I shouldn't have ate that she wanted to eat it. She stole money from me and I found about it, she became more mean. She many times stole my clothes and never gave it back even my footwear.
I can somewhat cook so I used to cook something for me and my siblings as she didn't let me eat. Then at one time she completely stopped making food for even my siblings. We have to go out somewhere or make something ourselves. During school too she never made tiffin especially for me. My dad always brought me some snacks. I was eating breakfast at 6 am and coming home at 3 pm. She told our relatives bad things about me and many believed her because she seems nicer than me, i dont talk much to people. And i didn't want to talk about her because i still had some respect for her. I love my siblings and they can see her hatred for me. But i cannot tell them about how worse is she when they are not around. Many people come and ask me why am i mean to my mother or give advice like she loves you you should always help her around she does not think had of you.She many times have told me I am not her daughter and I can never call her "mother" too. She fake cries in front of relatives and they take her side. My dad knows the truth about her and they don't have a good relationship as well to be honest if he was never there I would have been dead. He loves me too but my mother doesn't like and tries to ruin our relationship. But he is my hero he always knows me. I don't wanna be the victim but it's hard to heal this for me. I wanna be stronger so please give me some advice
I cannot open up to people . Also I am really insecure and very introverted and I cannot make any friends. I have just 2 real friends
@adaptableLychee1588 I am sorry that you do not get the kind support that we usually associate with a mother. I hope you find support here at 7 Cups.
I'm really sorry to hear such story from you, but you know what, many people like you made bad stuff to their parents because of their behaviour (like your mother has been treating you). Im from Italy and I hear almost every day at the TV News terrible stories about children and teenagers, mostly the teens, killing or punching their parents to death, and everytime I hear this I'm like "Wow, that's messed up. Something pushed them to do that, so I can't blame them on one hand." On the other hand though, nobody shall hurt their parents.
You are in the same or more or less in like those situations and I'm surprised that even though your mother lied about you to others, she belittled you, she did the worst things (as you said) you managed to respect her and get this far, you should congratulate yourself!! 👏👏☺️☺️ You are way stronger than what you think dear. You may not notice that, but from what I'm reading, you went through really bad stuff, mostly if the author of all this is your parent. And you STILL respected the one who put you into this world. God bless you bro/sis!! You're awessome.
When you said that you couldn't open up to people I felt what you mean.. I have the same problem :(
You said you feel insecure, and very introverted, but still had the courage to open up in an app like this. This may sound stupid, but many people like you who have insecurities can't even open up in such apps like 7 cuos. But you did and this shows how cool and strong you are, no matter what.
Also, it doesn't matter how many friends you have, the true friends are those who accept the way you are and makes you feel accepted.
There's a quote I'd like to share with you about this thing about your friends : "The more you are fake, the more friends you get. The more true you are and act like who you truly are, the lesser you get. That's why in amazing cars you find only one seat next to you." I hope you can understand the meaning behind this message and I hope it can stay in your heart ❤️. Sometimes making friends is hard, but when you find the right one you'll see that it's like a brother, somebody you can talk to and let go of all bad things... Sometimes, that true friend, is an our relative, or somebody really close to us. I believe you found a true friend and I hope you can find many others like this. I'm talking about your father. Like you said he's your hero❤️❤️ And somehow he's with you, not with his wife. Consider also that. Just remember that one day you'll find peace in this life, even though it's hard, life has always obstacles, but you shouldn't let them destroy you. Never. God bless you mam, I hope you'll find a way out!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
@NickyYayUwU I cannot describe how much it helped me. I want to let go of her and wanna move on with life but at the same time I overthink a lot. I live with her so it's just the worst she keeps telling me something bad. I try not to listen but I do hear it and I think about it so much, if you can give any advice on that it would be great. And as you said that you cannot open up with people I hope that you too find out how to be yourself, I now I am on way to be myself and heal myself and I hope that for you too. You seem a really sweet person and thank you so much for taking out time to write this. It means a lot.
Hey I'm glad it helped you!! ☺️
I know exactly what it feels like to suddenly want to leave everything and everybody because of only one person. It sucks when you get stuck into these thoughts, it really does... But remember that once you're 18 you'll be free to do whatever you want! Idk if you'll go to college (which is the University here in my country) but if you will just keep in mind that you'll stay quite away from her and that you'll definitely feel free and follow your dreams if you have some!! Of course in the weekends and in the holidays you'll have to get home, but at least you won't be too long at home with your mother or at the university/college flat.
But if you're thinking of not going to college or I don't know how it works in your country, you can always stay for a while in a hotel that doesn't really need to be far away from your home...
Anyway, even if you feel like this, remember that everything depends on how you feel. Do what makes you feel better. You can either keep living there or just move or do both things when you'll be a little bit older!
But remember, even though you hate your mother for the things she did, which is completely normal to feel this way, I believe that deeply inside her, she loves you because after all it was her choice to bring you to the world with your father, she wanted you, if she had no interest in having a son then I think she would've sent you to an adoption center or worse, she would've had an ab*rtion. I think she'll change over time, maybe she's stressed because of work or something that is bothering her (which it's NOT you of course, you're her son) so I think she's letting go her anger over you, and doing stuff like that.. I'm sorry she decided to let go her anger (if that's the problem) using you as her fist cushions. But I know and truly hope that one day everything will change and I pray that the relationship between you and your mother gets better. Because after all, it's terrible losing a parent, no matter if they "hate" us or live us... :(
When you feel the need to runaway or you get thoughts about this situation, I recommend you to go out for a walk. It may sound really classic or just boring, but walking outside (like in a park or in a small city, depending in where you live) can actually make your thoughts clear and calm you down a lot! Try walking out with your father and talk about this a little more with him, or simply walk by yourself and take a really big breath while walking. If you're somebody who can pay a little of attention on the surrondings, you can also listen to music while walking. 🎶🎧💚You can also stop somewhere and go drink some hot tea or read a book...in a few words try to discover what makes you interested, happy and comfortable...Find your hobbies!! 🏃♂️📖
Trust me , once you find them, everything will get a little better because you're focused on those things and relieves the 99% of the stress you have.
Also, everyday, mostly in the night time before going to bed, make a to-do list for the next day and list all the things you want to do or are sure you will. I was obsessed with these to-do lists, and mine from a few months ago went like this: 6:00 am - I wake up
6:10 am - shower time
7:00 am - get the bus for school
4 pm - get to the skate park
5 pm- get home and read brand new book
8pm - try to make the dish I saw on YT..
And so on, trust me it helps you A LOT. It's also a funny way to organize your day!!☀️
Anyway thanks for being so nice in the end of your reply, I know this message might be long...but just know that if you need to talk to somebody I'm always here ready to listen!! ☺️
Ps : I had to continue the thread on another post because the app died
@NickyYayUwU Back here after some days and don't know how to thank you for keep writing back. The way you said that you hoped my relationship with her gets better makes me know you are such a wise and kind person. And yeah once I turn 18 be financially independent things will definitely change, I have have my own house. For some reason you even thought I was a boy but I am definitely a girl lol but that's ok. Well I am really working on getting scholarship in different State or even abroad. Hopefully I get it. And as much as I hate her I can't say I want her dead if not for me atleast for my siblings. And my mother and dad had arrange marriage and well they were not in love. Maybe this sounds bad from my behalf but she doesn't do any work. We have maid for cleaning, laundry, dishes etc. Cooking breakfast is done by me if anyone wants to eat. In the evening mostly my dad he makes food and we help. She does make lunch but I really don't get appetite to eat. The reason is well, let me tell you what happened recently. She basically made something and after we were done, in the evening she does how much you have to eat as I had the last one in afternoon lunch. Although I ate the least food and complained it was for her. I told her if she would have told me I won't have ate it. She started saying you always do eat that much and well yeah I try to eat something I made for lunch or eat only some If I am really hungry. Either ways I do get to hear comments on it
@adaptableLychee1588
I am so sorry. You have every right to be mad at your mother. She is not nice. Please reach out to me if you ever need support
