Cptsd

@adventurousLime5474

Look at DBT. See if you can read a workbook about it or even watch some videos on YT. There are so many resources out there. Radically-Open Dialectical Behavior Therapy (RO DBT) maybe even a better fit for you. There is the whole course of it on YT. It helped me for sure. Nothing to lose. Ideally, you should be able to find a therapist or group therapy doing it, but it's very hard these days. Maybe a paid therapist here if you can afford?

@adventurousLime5474. There is a trauma forum and a depression forum here at 7cups. It may be worth checking them out. You can also chat with a one to one listener. By looking under browse listeners you can see what kind of subjects the listener does chats on.

Hi Geckos, sorry you are going through this.

I can relate as well, I have PTSD after coming out of a dysfunctional household that was physically & verbally abusive. My narc mother also SA me...I didn't realize it was SA, as we're both female, but when I flipped the gender to "male", I realized it's wrong (it's wrong regardless of gender/sex).

Also, I can relate with having issues that are linked to men.

I still carry a bit of fear, especially after getting out of an abusive relationship with son's (alcoholic) father. He almost k!lled me. I tried dating, and ended up in relationships with other toxic men. I also grew up as the only female sibling out of male siblings, where my brothers were provided preferential treatment from our parents. There's more to the story, but I'll leave it at that.

Apart from that, my depression & anxiety is on-and-off. Still always there, but I'm finding ways to cope.

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What I suggest in regards to each issue you're facing:

Depression - this is definitely not the easiest to overcome but there are methods to cope. I find journalling has help, doing hobbies/interests that you're passionate about, going for walks or doing exercises as that increases endorphins which relieves stress and puts you in a better mood overall. You can also take baby steps into doing things if you feel too depressed to want to get out of bed (ex. Make your bed today, make yourself a cup of tea or coffee, wash the dishes, etc basically it'll keep you productive and mind distracted).

Anxiety - Cut out any caffeines if you're currently drinking it, or reduce to one cup a day. My anxiety shoots up HIGH whenever I drink too much caffeine (I was bad, I drank 7 cups of coffee a DAY, no pun intended...). If you're having a panic attack, focus on where you are. What do you see? A chair? What colour is it? I used to have SEVERE panic attacks in my college years and didn't know how to cope back then, I did the opposite and made my anxiety worse... It also helps to journal what's bothering you and categorize things into TWO boxes: What I CAN control vs What I can NOT control. If you CANNOT control it, then don't worry about it. If you CAN control it, write down solutions.

CPTSD - Okay this is a tricky one, as tbh I'm still dealing with my trauma and it flairs up from time to time. I get triggered if ANYTHING comes close contact to my face and flinch or if I get any surprises. My reactions are usually cowering in fear or ... I grab the person's arm almost close to hitting them if they don't stop surprise poking me, making me flinch because it's "funny" to them. It freaks me out each time. Learning your boundaries and what's OK and not OK helps with the trauma. Also knowing it was NOT your fault. You are now a survivor of abuse. Survivors of abuse are like the Japanese pottery repair method "Kintsugi" 【きんつぎ】。Once the pottery is broken, the Japanese use gold to repair the pottery, believing it to be stronger and more beautiful. We have been affected by the trauma, but we continue improving our lives for the better.

Men Issues - For this one, I found surrounding myself with good female influences has helped. I joined a domestic violence support group in real life, also, the majority of my former co-workers from my last job were female, so it was nice. I've been surrounded by men most of my life, and this was a nice change (nothing against men, I just didn't have a good female role model growing up and felt lost...) Also, overtime, you could join any co-ed groups that pertain to your hobbies or interests (ex. Art, sports, music, hiking, etc) that have boys. You'll meet some more respectful boys that are a good influence. But don't rush into that if you don't want to be around males. It's best to get some female friends/support first. Especially those who understand where you're coming from.

LASTLY, if you need 24/7 support, please check out some of the group support chats. Personally, I really like the Sharing Circle because of how it's structured. The host will open up an a queue that last an hour. You type "*" to join the queue. Those who join the queue gets 7 minutes on the floor to talk. Everyone stays silent and listens, or during your time talking they will provide encouraging words. They are NOT allowed to give advice (unless you specifically ask). It's a no judgement zone. When your done talking, you type "done" or "that's all". People then give you support and words of encouragement. Some may even relate to your situation.

Hi

I know how it feels, because Ive diagnosed too as CPTSD, anxiety, severe depression - that lasting 8 years now. I was a slave to my mother for 18 years and only a year ago I stopped communicating with her. I have nightmares with her and I am on neuroleptics and antidepressants to stabilize my condition. My father chose not to believe me, but to believe his wife instead, so we rarely communicate. Now I think about suicide and I cut myself. You are not alone, I am also afraid to get close to people, especially women. If you want to chat, feel free to let me know