please help me through my worst time
I meet again a guy who used to bully me. Long story short he bullied me and then fter a long while he apologized but i couldn't forgive him...The emotional trauma still haunts me til today (It happened 7 years ago) Recently i just happened to meet him again, he noticed me but he ran away... He ignored me and i felt frustrated because i want to solve this trauma once and for all i contact him but its been 1 day and i dont get any response. What should i do
@Eitas I am sorry that you were bullied.
There is some consolation in that they seem to be remoreseful of what they did. They may even still feel guiltiy about it and do not want to respond. Maybe they are traumatized also and are trying to let it go. It is not easy letting go but we cannot change the past - only let it go.
@soulsings but the "let it go" is easier to say than do tbh. Also, i think it is too early to tell if he is feeling bad or something. Even if h is, i am still the one who suffered the most
@Eitas I hear you letting go is not easy. I try to look at how much wiser I am after a bad experience. Like when I was a kid I touched the stove and got burned and was very careful around the stove.
I could not do anything to make the memory of burning a finger go away but I did learn to be more careful. I regretted having done that but made a determination to act differently and be more cautious in the future.
@soulsings yeah so that's why i prefer to solve it....
@Eitas we can change the type of communication we have with that person but only if they are willing to change that too. Some people just keep stuffing old problems in the closet and so facing that what can you do?
@soulsings well I can do many things but at the same time not many. You are right that i can only change the form of communication when that person also changes... I can directly go and see them (for now i don't have time) or communicate via electronics or just forgiveness, but whatever it is i know i will gain and lose things
@Eitas
i think u should resort to professional help.it can help you really to solve the trauma
@annadaisy50749
idk..i think this is the best solution
@annadaisy50749 yeah but sadly i can't reach out to any professional in the meantime ...
@Eitas oh...is...is there no other way?
btwn how are you doing now?
I thought it is going to be better but no it is worse…
@Eitas Heyy! I am so sorry to hear that. I believe you are looking for closure, or do you expect an apology from him? Whatever the case may be, he cannot justify his act, and you can forgive him even without his apology. You must have heard that forgiving is for oneself and not for the person who did wrong. Trust me, it all makes sense. You suffered the bullying and now the trauma; release yourself from this web and let Karma punish him. Forgive him because you have a big heart. Forgive him because you don't have time for negativity. Forgive him for yourself (even without closure).
@gracefulDaisy9052 Thanks but it is easier to say than do tho ;;-;;
@Eitas It is going to be difficult but worth it my dear and we are here to help you.
@gracefulDaisy9052 thank u so much but how tho
@Eitas
I am very sorry for what you have been through. Bullying is never okay and causes much pain. From what you say it sounds to me like he might feel ashamed, maybe even scared to meet you. He might get into contact with you but there is also a chance he will avoid it. The most important thing though is that you're getting the help you need to deal with this emotional trauma so that it will not continue to impact your present. Here are some links which can be helpful:
Trauma Support https://www.7cups.com/forum/trauma/
Grow paths (Ptsd) https://www.7cups.com/path/modifier/
To browse for a listener or therapist please check here
The Butterfly Hug is a form of bilateral stimulation that can be used as a grounding technique.The process is simple and can be done in any situation. It can help bring you back to the present moment and calm your emotional state. https://youtu.be/iGGJrqscvtU
Help me i tried both your name and @StompingOnCP but i cant find it said no result
I’m sorry you experienced a traumatic experience where you were bullied that’s never easy and I’m sure you’re not alone because we’ve all been there at some point in our lives. I would say give yourself a grace period and nobody should expect you to get over it very easily I know for myself when I was in the ninth grade, I was bullied by my teachers Due to circumstances about my learning that I couldn’t control and I still can’t forgive them for what they did and it’s been 15 years so we’re all here for you we’re rooting for you especially me and if you ever need someone to talk to you I’m always available as a listener
@StompingOnCP thanks so much for offering me help because i really need help ;;-;; We can arrange a time to talk about this problem that i am currently facing. Once again thanks!
@Eitas sure
Thanks so much! Can we do it tonight or tomorrow?
@Eitas
Hi Eitas, it's Ami (amiablePeace77). I just wanted to let you know that if you browse for listeners please check on their profile that it is stated listens to "teens and 18 and over".
@Eitas oh sorry you feel that way today but I just want you to know that you're doing the best you can and that means you're doing a great job
Thanks, weird why i cant find your name in listener browsee
@Eitas I'm here for you if you need someone to talk to you
I dont know why but i cant find you 😭Pherpahps you can try connecting to me?
@Eitas
Hi there, sorry that you're having trouble to connect with a listener with teen badge. You can find listeners who listen to teens and 18 and over here https://www.7cups.com/BrowseListeners/?badge=0&find=teen&sort=&category=&ageGroup=&listType=&gender=&religion=&country=&language=&verifiedlistener=on
Just mentioning some randomly: @jennysunrise8 US @brilliantTurtle89 UK @ bookworm4 Pakistan
Hope this helps.
I tried both you and @StompOnCP too but i cant find 😭 It said no result please help
@Eitas the reason you cannot find them is because they are a listener for 18+ older so please follow amiablePeace77's suggestion and browse for a listerner that takes teen chats. https://www.7cups.com/BrowseListeners/
@StompingOnCP idk why but i tried to search your name but i cant...perphaps we can arrange a meeting instead?
@Eitas Okay. whats going on is he feels severe guilt for whats hes done. just be patient, and idc if ur into praying and allat but im praying for you that you can solve this :D. this is a really hard thing to go through. but i want you to know one thing
you can forgive him, without his knowledge. you dont have to wait to forgive him. you can forgive him whenever you feel ready. and if yall happen to cross paths again, let him know where you stand with him. after you forgive him, let go of the pain he put onto you. its a long hard road but if its been 7 years and your willing to talk to him, i think your ready (assuming you havent already)
Honestly because i cant forgive him i think this is partly why i want to talk with him.. Can you clarify “where i stand with him” means? :0
@Eitas sending you love and support
@Eitas I'm always here if you need someone to talk to you