Can you help me find the words?
I've arranged therapy for myself.
I'm scared to tell my partner.
I'm afraid all the anger and resentment will come out.
They used to be supportive of me getting therapy. Now they acuse me of running off to get sympathy.
I want to blame them. Tell them that if only they would/could give me the support I need, then I wouldn't have to go and get it elsewhere.
Except that blaming them is going to make them less inclined to be supportive. Not more.
So I want to seed some alternatives to the inevitable "why?"
"Because I need support to achieve what I want to achieve."
"Because I need it."
I don't like the feeling I'm justifying myself.
But I don't like "I don't need to justify myself to you" either.
I've told my partner that I find the "why?" questions unhelpful. And that I won't respond to them. So I could just not respond. But that's not promoting communication.
Reassert the boundary? "I've said I find that question unhelpful so I won't be responding to it"
Or just "I'm doing it because I'm going to be ok".
What would you say?
@Clio9876 Therapy is not sympathy. Your partner doesn’t need to be your therapist. Plus, it’s none of their fing business if you see a therapist or not, it’s for you.
@Clio9876
The best way I found to end the conversation is ask "why not? " It is not a him or them situation.
What is your partner afraid of you growing in yourself and changing or succeeding in what you have in goals?
Therapy is not like talking to friend or partner.......... they are not just support and cheer leading.
A good therapist often challenges you to find ways to deal with things and situations. They will call you out on rationalizations or excuses it is work to evaluate yourself and your mind frame.
@toughTiger6481
Why not, indeed!
Thanks.
And thanks also for the reminder that they might be scared. That's a definite possibility.
@Clio9876im doing it for my emotional and mental health.
@Clio9876
essentially, if they aren't gonna be supportive, my advice is to not even bother staying
Good question. You can just say that you think it will be helpful. If he asks for elaboration, you can tell him that you'll be happy to explain as long as he listens without judgment, but if he is going to judge you, then he should tell you beforehand.
