Breakup
I just brokeup with my bf
its hard on me bcs its my first heartbreak
for backstory it was because of many things
main reason was i always ddint like the fact that he was friends with his ex even if it was 4 years ago and they are close friends
we once had a argument about it and i asked him to choose between me and her but on this q of mine he called me dumb and stupid. He cldnt make a choice but later said me
fast forward i was annoyed at him and i checked his texts and he sent a video of him playing cricket to her
i had previously asked him to maintain boundaries
i never said to not be friends but i did not understand the motive behind having to want to keep a
close friends of any other girls or in general ur EX
but he did
the video he sent her and i asked him if he wld do it again and blah blah but he was justifying himself saying its a omce in 100 days and cld happen
he told me i needed reassurance which is funny bcs he knew i needed it and i said “yes i do but u are not” and to that he gave his usual dry response
okay
he said i wasting his time by this whole conversation and i told him we shld breakup but i was trying to get answers out of him
i even said
if that stuff happened in future( him sending gids and pic of himself) i wouldnt feel happy and are u okay with that
and he said “yea”
this stuff just saddened me showing i wasnt cared of
but now the hard part is he was a good person on the other side it was okly this one difference about me and him which was me not wanting him to be so close to his girl—-friends
but yea
i said lets breakup after this conversation and he said
”alright”
he did not stop it bcs he said it was my decision and all that but yea
i know better things will happen but it cld happen with him if he wanted to change that he said he wld but he didnt.
@hv2007
i am sorry you are having this difficult time .... people will not change if they do not see it themselves...perhaps he did not see your point about text or videos as it was his EX. if he wanted her he probably would not be an EX.
i think you opened the door he took the way out ...... making it your decision is a bonus for him....
@toughTiger6481 thanks for replying
i get ur point i did tell him about his boundaries being bad and he said i was being too conservative
he told me bfr that they are 'borderline friends and barely talk'' and now the day when i confronted him he said they have always been close friends and talk about life every 10 days
im starting to think it wasnt really my fault in this whole relationship... my thoughts are changing constantly bcs im trying to cope
@hv2007
It is difficult to deal with people whose explanations and lines seem to be changing.....it is hard to know where we stand. first it is we are barely friends then they are talking often....it does make you question if you missed something early on or if he just says what he THINKS you want to hear...etc.
many do not have clear boundaries .... until it a problem and then make fuzzy lines that it is unclear when crossed this is a defensive move so they can argue both ways if something did cross their blurred line.
At the end of any relationship or thing in our life we question ourselves sometimes harshly for things we are simply not in control of.... it really does take 2 in a relationship and no matter how strong and how much we want something to work it is too heavy for one to always carry.
@hv2007 I'm so sorry you're going through your first break up if you need someone to talk to you I'm always here
I am sorry to hear about what you're going through. From someone that has been there done that, I can say the heartbreak gets easier. Just know there is a person just for you out there. Blessings.
@hv2007 sorry things did not work out. It sounds like he was not being accommodating. Hope you find a way through the pain of breaking up.
Here is a self help guide on breaking up https://www.7cups.com/breakup-advice/
If you want to talk to a listener click here https://www.7cups.com/BrowseListeners/
Hope you get the support you are looking for.
@hv2007
Hello hv2007, I just wanted to ask how you're coping? 💙
Hiii im doing fine now trying to get over everything
@hv2007
I'm glad to hear you feel better now.
It always helps me to find peace in nature, like going for a walk, when things are getting rough. What are you doing currently to bring joy and peace into your life?
.
Im just trying to regain myself back
reading singing and things i kindoff stopped doing
talking to my friends etc
@hv2007
Have you thought about sending your friends a message , just to keep in contact? Reading and singing sounds great though! What are you reading at the moment if I may ask?
Heyyyy sooo i was reading this book on self help from an indian doctor called ur mind ur soul smthg and singing just all random songs yk :) iwent on a outing with my friends toda i feel good
its like a part of me which died is back
@hv2007
This is wonderful and I hope it continues like this! Seems the self-help book and the singing have a positive effect on you! 👍
Its been 2 months
i talked to him in between and stuff again was just mid i felt i wanted to get back but he said no which is fair
i think a lot of emotions took the toll on me and i was missing the memories
cant believe its been 2 months and im still smh in love and theres struggle to move on but ***
thats part of life:/
@hv2007
I am so sorry that you are still struggling but grieving a relationship can take time. It's so important to care for your heart now, do things which bring you joy and do not remind you of him. What was something good that happened for you in the last weeks?
Everything alr now im just stuck with exams
@hv2007
I hope you get through well with your exams. What are you doing to relax after a long day?
Yeah i got the almost same things and plus one more
I got to know is that people dont easily leave they try to manipulate us and drove us mad and then they try to enjoy and then they'll drove us mad and then out of all youll make a break up and then they'll leave happily ð¥².
