A psycological dillema
Hello i am in a dillema and i need opinions, any are fine even bad one just use reasoning atleast.
So currently i am on the path of mastering a few skills. Though mastering these skills might lead to Insanity/Lack of humanity or schizophrenia. The reason being that I am using the voices in my head as my last pillar of support to do so as almost all other options have been tried (new suggestions are welcome).
Not going into mastery in this subject will lead to my mothers insanity and eventual death and that will than lead to a divorce from mother to father if she doesn't kill herself leaving the family in shambles. But her dying leads to my fathers long time ish depression and also leads to the family going in shambles.
The third option is doing it without the voices reducing my chances significantly of succeding in master with will leed to me suffering consequences of both options above. But there is a small chance that i might work(5%)
Note: It is to note that I am probably the cause of my parents foreseen divorce. Other note i enjoyed these activities at first but than expectations and everything else fell on me leaving me with this empty void lack of sanity/humanity i currently posses(as of now i deem it to be curable). Also i cannot talk to my parents. I can try to talk to friends but they might panic and call the police/cps (as i also get hit sometimes) and will lead to at least 1 maybe both consequences. I can also try therapy to fix me but as i am underage in my country therapist might be illogical and call cps/police or contact parents leading to atleast 1 or both consequences again.
@conscientiousBalloon1797
I can only imagine how stressful it is for you to make a decision considering the fact that based on what you described all outcomes will be negative in some way and you even feel that reaching out to parents, friends or a therapist would not be helpful but eventually bring more harm. So sorry to hear that people reacted violently towards you when you opened up!
I wonder whether there could be other outcomes though, maybe less negative or even positive?
Mastering these skills seems to be important to you. May I ask what skills they are?
You mentioned therapy which could be very helpful to learn new coping skills to help you find new ways of thinking which will change your behaviour and likely the outcomes that happen in your life. I'm sorry that it feels difficult to get therapy where you live.
You can find more information about therapy on the site here. Please note though that since you are underage it will need your parents consent.
This is a link to the 7cups self help guides Self help guides https://www.7cups.com/supportGuides/selfHelpGuides.php
I hope there will be a good outcome for you đź’™
@amiablePeace77 The skill would just be being a "perfect" son playing someone i am not damaging me mentally and having perfect academic skills and by that i mean 100/100 on all tests.
@conscientiousBalloon1797
It does not sounds like a skill worthwhile to acquire to me. No one can be perfect. To me the skills being able to accept what I actually can do sounds more helpful. What do you think?