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Self Compassion

amiablePeace77 September 24th

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Self-compassion plays a more powerful role in mitigating mental health symptoms.

A new study by University of California San Diego researchers reports that displaced Syrian refugees with higher reported self-compassion were less likely to report poor mental health outcomes. The study was published in PLOS ONE on September 19, 2024.

Excerpt from Self-compassion is related to better mental health among Syrian refugees



Participation questions:


  • How do you react when others criticise you?
  • How can you show yourself kindness and compassion in those moments?


Helpful Videos:

Self-compassion break


Helpful Resources:

Self-compassion is related to better mental health among Syrian refugees

7 Ways to Practice Self-Compassion When You Have Depression


Seeking Help 

Mental stress can cause us not to be able to see the good things in life and lead to excessive rumination or worries which can result in serious health problems. If you have serious, long-term problems with negative thinking and feeling depressed, see your doctor or talk to a therapist if they are related to any mental challenges. 

Are you looking for a therapist? 7 Cups has online, certified therapists with a paid option. For more information on what happens in online therapy at 7 Cups, Read Lisa’s (a therapist and director of therapy) explanation 

https://www.7cups.com/forum/therapy/General_2432/WeveLaunchedTalkTherapyon7Cups_319430/

To apply for 7 Cups online therapy, click on this link (must be logged into member account) https://www.7cups.com/online-therapy/?ob=1


Image by M. Emami on Unsplash

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amiablePeace77 OP September 24th

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Zeraphim September 25th

How do you react when others criticize you?

While I try my best to remain neutral and calm, internally I do find it an emotional struggle, if I feel the person is doing so in bad faith or without helpful intent.

How can you show yourself kindness and compassion in those moments?

I don't know. I guess saying, "This is hard. You're doing the best you can."

1 reply
amiablePeace77 OP September 25th

@Zeraphim

Dealing with unhelpful criticism is definitely harder than if we feel someone really wants to help. I like the way you support yourself without putting pressure to achieve something in those hard moments. 

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alysianna September 25th

@amiablePeace77

  • How do you react when others criticise you? badly or not at all it depends  on person and time.
  • How can you show yourself kindness and compassion in those moments? i can't
1 reply
amiablePeace77 OP September 25th

@alysianna

Many people never learned to show compassion to themselves. I neither did and it hurts. The good thing is that I could learn it and you can too. Here is a link to a video which I find quite comforting to listen to in hard times 

Self compassion break https://youtu.be/LM-hZia0V_A?si=-daDJLLik7uK9bXq

You will find some tips for self compassion here  youtu.be/Qes9HoxfkE0

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Fradiga September 25th

@amiablePeace77

How do you react when others criticise you?

How can you show yourself kindness and compassion in those moments?

It depends very much on how this "criticism" is formulated, why and by whom. The only trick is to prevent yourself to be triggered, particularly if this criticism is sudden and aggressive, and shows itself no kindness or compassion towards you. 

The way criticism is expressed often depends on the local culture and that same culture tells you how to respond to it. 

When I was a learning musician, I wanted to know if there was something to improve in my work, even if it came from someone who did not play music, so I paid attention.

Some critics might be rough, but you still need to pay attention because.... you just got hired by this person and have to listen in order to understand better what they expect from you.

At my age though, no-one expects anything from me, so I do not get criticized often, however...

I have a family member who is negative with me most of the time and spits venom in my direction (😃I am an easy target!) every chance she gets. Most people know how she is. I believe she is not quite well in the head so I do not engage. I will respond with things like "it's a pity" or shrug. I will show her compassion and kindness though, because she must be suffering with her dark thoughts.


3 replies
Tinywhisper11 September 25th

@Fradiga awww you must have a strong mind, to be able to brush of a friend who always criticises you. And I didn't think about that kind of criticism when I answered the question. I love to do art, just as a fun hobby. But if people criticise to help me with that, then I would listen without being offended, I think, no-one has ever given me constructive criticism🤔🤔

gives you a hug ❤

amiablePeace77 OP September 25th

@Fradiga

I very much agree with you Fradiga. Preventing yourself to be triggered is the key for many things.

Sorry to hear about that person who is spitting venom your direction. Often those people deeply hurt inside and find it difficult to see others being well and growing. It's a sad thing but you seem to deal with it well.

1 reply
Fradiga September 26th

@amiablePeace77

That's what I think too. She is my own sister and I feel that she acquired a trait from our mother which grows stronger as she is getting older. She must be suffering from it so I give her a lot of allowance. She might well have benefitted from some psy care but of course, she has to decide that for herself and we other siblings realize this but cannot oblige her to do so. You know the type: it's her way or no way. Unfortunately, I have to share my daily life with her around while our other siblings only come here on vacation (we are all co-proprietors of an inherited estate). At least she has a separate house.

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Tinywhisper11 September 25th

@amiablePeace77 the only thing people criticise me on really, is my positivity, and lack of general knowledge. Yep! Never been to svhool, I know I'm not clever. But yeah it does hurt, cause I know I'm trying to learn so much, and I like being happy, why shouldn't I be. So yep it's not nice to hear people criticise you. In those moments, I prefer to vent them go cry alone, not the best solution but it works for me ❤❤ 

4 replies
amiablePeace77 OP September 25th

@Tinywhisper11

Offers a shoulder to cry on for anytime needed 💙.  Be proud of your positivity, you help so many people here! I believe some people find it hard to be around positive people when they cannot see any light at all and have given up. Don't let that stop you from being the wonderful person you are!

1 reply
Tinywhisper11 September 25th

@amiablePeace77 thankyou ❤ and don't worry, you can never keep a good person down ❤❤I love you ❤

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adventurousBranch3786 September 26th

@Tinywhisper11   I’m a positive person as well and people criticize me about it also. It annoys the person that I live with but he also admits that he wishes he could be more positive since negativity brings him more suffering. I think that you are clever and a fast learner!

1 reply
Tinywhisper11 September 26th

@adventurousBranch3786 thanks branch ❤❤ your positivity always shines through, and I love you for it ❤❤ 🙂

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WorkingitThrough2 September 25th

@amiablePeace77

  • How do you react when others criticise you?
  • I take things very personal and then try to see if it was justifiable or not. Often times it leads me to self-criticism and then second guessing what they said.
  • How can you show yourself kindness and compassion in those moments? I try to be honest with my self and may seek someone else's opinion.

7 replies
amiablePeace77 OP September 26th

@WorkingitThrough2

Taking things personally all the time must hurt. It's not easy to stay grounded when someone pushes your buttons, but I hope coming here will help you to find ways not to react but respond mindfully to avoid more pain in future. Some things I find helpful are

Creating space between yourself and your reactions and not jumping to conclusions when you're confronted. Sometimes it's not really all about us too! 

Good idea to consult someone else to hear a different opinion!


6 replies
WorkingitThrough2 October 12th

@amiablePeace77

Thanks, I am working on it some but still have a long way to go😊

5 replies
amiablePeace77 OP October 12th

@WorkingitThrough2

As long as you walk you're getting there! 👍How have you been compassionate to yourself today?

4 replies
WorkingitThrough2 October 14th

@amiablePeace77

I have been compassionate to myself by refusing to handicap by husband who now wants me to talk for him. I am making him responsible for using his words and taking his time to talk. Handle your business and stop expecting me to do it for you.

3 replies
amiablePeace77 OP October 15th

@WorkingitThrough2

You are not responsible for any other person's action! 

2 replies
WorkingitThrough2 October 15th

@amiablePeace77

I am working on that inner critic that makes me feel guilty. I know in my heart that you are right but in my head it tells me the opposite.

1 reply
amiablePeace77 OP October 16th

@WorkingitThrough2

Our heads can be stubborn for sure. It takes time to change habitual ways of thinking, but you will get there, and we are here to help. 

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akunknown September 26th

@amiablePeace77

  • How do you react when others criticise you?

I used to react by pretending to be who they thought I was. Not for the sake of pretending to be someone else but so that I could force them to wish they did not think I was like that. 

Nowadays I react by not caring realizing I shouldn’t waste my time I’ll never get back on people who just simply aren’t worth it. 

  • How can you show yourself kindness and compassion in those moments?

I believe I already have simply by not doing anything nowadays in response 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

No seriously though, that’s one way I believe I’ve shown kindness and compassion in those moments. Another way is to if it’s possible (sometimes it’s not) is to try reaching them by trying to be friends or friendly with them, help them out with something after trying to see what problems they’re currently having, stuff like that. Sometimes it works successfully. Sometimes as I mentioned it doesn’t and sometimes it may even make the situation or moments worse and I’ve experienced the last two many times but to this day never the first one but I’m still a firm believer, not a quitter. 

1 reply
amiablePeace77 OP September 26th

@akunknown

I hear you akunknown. Listening to constructive criticism makes sense and can help us to grow. Listening to destructive criticism is just a waste of time. I like that you keep staying a believer! 👍

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