Post-Traumatic Growth (PTG)
Today, I would like to share a short story of my life with you hoping it will help some of you and give you hope ❤️
There was a time in my life when I was badly bullied. I tried to be strong and resistant towards my bullies and suppressed my emotions so no one could really see how I felt. Inside though, I was deeply hurt. Feelings of fear, anger and frustration were my daily companions. This went on for many years without any break.
During this time I made mistakes also. I behaved in ways which were not like me and that only made things even worse. As a consequence I started to doubt myself greatly. All of this happened at a time I was under a lot of pressure anyhow, I often felt hopeless and unloved.
One day I felt I couldn't go on anymore carrying this burden. Something needed to change and I was able to make the change. I left the place where I was bullied most and isolated myself from the world. It took me a very long time to start healing and stop the flashbacks. They are not gone completely but they appear only rarely.
I realized that something in me was broken, so having faith or trust in others was impossible, but I also realized that I was much stronger than I thought. Working at 7cups as a volunteer, I have a lot more personal strength and I see that there are other ways I can live my life which I never saw before. What I’ve learned is a very helpful coping mechanism here on 7cups. In fact, I never felt so content in my own skin than ever before in my life.
I’ve never been diagnosed with trauma or never went to get help, something I regret very much. It could have saved me a lot of pain from what was so traumatic, but I’m proud of how I grew in the last few years, especially since joining 7cups.
I would like to recite a chapter from Psychology Today:
Post-Traumatic Growth is the positive psychological change that some individuals experience after a life crisis or traumatic event. Post-traumatic growth doesn’t deny deep distress, but rather posits that adversity can unintentionally yield changes in understanding oneself, others, and the world. Post-traumatic growth can, in fact, co-exist with post-traumatic stress disorder.
Below are some points which can help to facilitate growth after traumatic events:
It is really important to admit to yourself that what you experienced felt traumatic to you.
Accept that you’ve been knocked down first by the experience, but that you also stood up again - recognize your strength!
Forgive yourself and others. It does not mean forget what happened but instead find peace within yourself. As has often been said, forgiveness benefits the one who forgives more than the one who receives forgiveness.
Be gentle with yourself, engage in regular self-care.
Develop a different mindset about stress. If I see stress only as bad for me, every time I experience stress it will add more stress, but if I can see it as a test or a teacher I can learn from it. Accepting that I am in a stressful situation and observing it without reacting impulsively is empowering!
Reflect on your current priorities, are they set right? Is your first priority to care for your own well-being when needed, when you feel you can’t move on without a break?
Post-traumatic growth happens when you’re able to transform trauma and use adversity to your advantage. Every day mindfulness practices and activities can greatly help to slow down, be more aware of yourself and your surroundings, and generally help you to grow. Having the continuous, reliable involvement of a therapist or counselor helps aid the process of dealing with trauma but also of post traumatic growth.
Do you feel that you have been growing from whatever happened to you and if so in what way?
If you do not feel that you are not getting better would you consider getting therapy?
Are you looking for a therapist? 7cups has online, certified therapists with a paid option. For more information click on link https://www.7cups.com/online-therapy/?ob=1
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@amiablePeace77 ami thanks for posting this. It sounds hopeful to me that I can work out some of my trauma.
Do you feel that you have been growing from whatever happened to you and if so in what way? Not by focusing on the trauma but by changing my routines and habits, but it has been a long slow process over decades.
If you do not feel that you are not getting better would you consider getting therapy? I think therapy is a great option.
@soulsings
I think changing routines and habits are a good way to "cut ties" with behaviors that tied you to the trauma in some way. Thank you for sharing this strategy. So glad you could grow from your trauma!
@amiablePeace77 I agree with you,my friend.
@amiablePeace77
Wonderful written amiablePeace.
@Helgafy
Hello Helgafy, nice to see you again in the forum. Glad you liked the post, feel free to answer too.😊
@amiablePeace77 thank you so much for sharing Ami, a very good practice to start. Thanks again hugs
@caringPanda45 Thanks for being so supportive.
Thanks for all you do to make 7cups Amazing.
@amiablePeace77. Looking back I have grown. In my case I wasn’t able to do it on my own. I did need the help of therapists over the years. I would definitely go back to therapy again since I have found that healing does not always come in a straight line.
@adventurousBranch3786
Nice that you can look back and see how much you grew!
As someone who is currently also struggling to accept my past with bullying, I really found this inspiring. I’m currently trying to recover from some of the nasty things people have said to me and it’s not easy. It’s so easy for you to lose yourself when other people start to judge you, it’s like the flaws that they have pointed out are all I see when I look in the mirror. I even am starting to hate some things about my inside.. I’m a mess, I hope you are doing well, and Thankyou for the inspiring story. I just joined 7 cups in hopes to reach out to people about my mental health
@Keeponpushing12
I'm very sorry that you're going through this struggle right now. It's hard to put things that are said to us by bullies into perspective so that we keep a clear mind and are not getting hurt. At some point what bullies said to me became my reality, I believed that I was bad and did not deserve to be alive. Please don't let something like this happen and stick with you but reach out to a someone here to talk or joint the support chats. This is a link for a self help guide with bullying https://www.7cups.com/bullying/
Sending you caring hugs (if accepted) ❤️
Thankyou for the advice.. I really appreciate it and honestly seeing your reply made my day a lot better. I feel so alone in this because everyone I tell it to, they act like I’m seeking attention or that I’m making it up.. if they only knew what I went through on the daily.
@Keeponpushing12 I hear you. I am sorry others have tried to invalidate your experience. I accept that mental health challenges have far reaching consequences. Hope you get the support you need.
@Keeponpushing12 I am sorry you was bullied.
I am sorry your struggling now.
Maybe reach out to our many listeners here at 7cups.
I hope this helps.
@Keeponpushing12 Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us.
Thanks for taking time to read this post.
@amiablePeace77
Do you feel that you have been growing from whatever happened to you and if so in what way? I no longer have suicidal tendencies, Body memories are less, and nightmares decreased.
If you do not feel that you are not getting better would you consider getting therapy? yes, I have tried this numerous times.
@amiablePeace77
Do you feel that you have been growing from whatever happened to you and if so in what way? Yes and no. It's easier to recognize triggers and it's gotten easier to calm things get bad. The problem is in so many ways it feels as though I'm stuck. Some things have caused more trauma and as hard as I try to move past it - I'm struggling with it
If you do not feel that you are not getting better would you consider getting therapy? I am in therapy now
@mytwistedsoul
It was very wise to reach out and get professional help so you do not drown in your trauma 💙 Nice that you can become aware of triggers easier now.
@mytwistedsoul
I am so sorry that you are still struggling, but I resonate with what you are saying ever so well. You are not alone in this struggle. We are here to help each other so please don't be shy❤️. We love and appreciate you so much.
@scarletPear1945 Thanks for showing empathy towards this member.
Thanks for caring about them.
@mytwistedsoul Glad to hear that your getting professional help.
I am very proud of you.
I truly am.
Thanks for sharing this Ami. I am sorry for all you have went through, you are truly a strong and courageous person. Thanks for sharing your wisdom and insights. This community is better for having you in it. ❤
@GeorgieUK
You just made my day Georgie! Thank you for these kind words. I feel very connected to this community ❤️
@GeorgieUK Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Do you feel that you have been growing from whatever happened to you and if so in what way?
I feel that I have been growing from what happened to me in the way that mushrooms grow - there’s so much below the surface and sometimes when conditions are right it shows up in the world.
If you do not feel that you are not getting better would you consider getting therapy?
If I do not feel I’m getting better I may consider therapy depending on whether or not I feel the counsellor I’m connecting with regularly is enough.
@amiablePeace77
@Dalladi
Hi dalladi.
I really loved your answer to the first question.
From Helga.
Thanks Helga! I appreciate the compliment. 😊
@Helgafy
@Dalladi
Considering therapy is a great way to help yourself. Therapy can help you in many ways from learning new coping skills to helping you find new ways of thinking which will change your behavior and likely the outcomes that happen in your life. If you are looking for online therapy at 7cups, there is a paid option. More info here https://www.7cups.com/online-therapy/?ob=1
@Dalladi Thanks for your writing this.
If you need some emotional support or just need some one to listen, please reach out to a listener here at 7Cups.
Here is the link: https://www.7Cups.com/BrowseListeners/
Please note: The listeners are not therapist and they are not trained in crisis intervention and support. Listeners cannot give advice.
I hope this helps.
No it won't. In fact, it makes things worse
@tidySailboat7966
Wonderful tidySailboat.
I'm so sorry you feel that therapy didn't help. Well - some say it must get worse before it gets better, I don't know. Maybe your therapist was not a good one for you and you need to see another one.
In all case, you can come to sharing circle (if you're 18 or above - if you're a teenager there is a group for them also) and share your experiences.
From your friend Helga.
@Helgafy Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
@tidySailboat7966 So very sorry to hear this.
I hope things get better for you.