CLOSED to new questions AMA September 14-16th with therapists Rory and Stacy
Hi there. My name is soulsings, the ambassador liaison with 7cups therapy program. I am thrilled to introduce an AMA [Ask Me Anything] thread that can help you better understand how 7cups online therapy can help you cope with mental health issues that you experience in your life. Rory Boutilier and Stacy Overton are licensed therapists that provide online therapy services for 7 Cups. They can answer your questions about different mental health challenges in your life. See their bio's at the end of this post!
This format gives you 3 days Sept 14th to 16th (EDT time GMT-5) to ask your question and give them time to answer them. So post your questions now and they will answer them as quickly as they can. Remember this is a 3 day thread, so get your questions in early. They will answer questions in the order received.
Sometimes people ask the same or similar questions, so please read through the questions in this thread before submitting your questions so you can benefit from all the answers presented here and we can limit duplicate questions from happening.
Thanks for participating in this AMA thread. I look forward to your questions and the therapist's answers. If you want to ask a particular therapist to answer your question, start your thread with for Stacy or for Rory
Stacy Overton: Here is a Link to their therapy page https://www.7cups.com/therapists/profiles/Stacy-Overton-StacyOvertonPhD/
BIO: Counseling is about making changes you seek in your life. It is a place that feels safe and is free from any judgment to work through almost any problem. Healing is a process and there are no quick fixes but change is absolutely obtainable with time and motivation. Dr. Stacy has a style that is authentic, direct, and compassionate. She helps individuals identify their values in order to develop skills and discover strengths to lead meaningful, balanced lives. She has over 20 years experience with a variety of populations that include; persons with chronic/acute illness, depression, anxiety, mood disorder, addiction, relationship challenges, divorce, grief/loss, trauma and womens issues. For more of their bio, see link to therapy page above.
Rory Boutilier: Here is a Link to their therapy page https://www.7cups.com/therapists/profiles/Rory-Boutilier-RoryBoutilierRPC/
BIO: Hello! I take a unique approach to helping you reach your goals and I fully believe that therapy is a collaborative process - your success is my success. My focus is on you and your progress in therapy. I have training in short-term/dynamic, cognitive-behavioral, existential, client-centered, and solution-focused therapy models. Whether you are struggling with depression, anxiety, self-harm, life changes, or anything else, my goal is to help you achieve the changes you want to see in your life. I am here to help you in the process by being non-judgemental and unbiased in our work. For more of their bio, see link to therapy page above.
@soulsings
Looking forward to this!
My friend is suicidal and I want to help her.. but she says that there is nothing I can do to help her and that suicide is the only answer to her problems...she has a very disfunctional family and has a lot of trust issues because of many heartbreaks that she has had to endure...she feels that she is not important to anyone and there is nobody she can fall back on...how do I help her ? She is undergoing online therapy but she says that the therapist can only talk to her sometimes...the therapist cannot replace her family or friends. She is in a toxic relationship and says that she is disgusted at herself for not being able to break up at the same time she is scared that if she does break up she will get more lonely than she is right now so that is making her hold on to the toxic relationship...she even blames me for her condition and says that I'm a very pathetic friend and I secretly wish for her to die and that I get some kind of secret pleasure from seeing her suffer...she says that I gaslight her and try to Shame her for her condition...she says that whenever she tries to talk about her issues I somehow make it about myself by playing victim...I really don't understand how to help her overcome this and not get affected
@Sjias
Hi Sjias,
It's incrediby difficult to want to support a friend but not feel as if you are doing or saying the right thing. I'm also pretty concerned about what you wrote in regard to her being suicidal. Does she have additional supports and do you think it might be reasonable to do a welfare check or reach out to someone who can check on her? Ultimately, I think safety has to come before anything else and making sure your friend is safe is priority.
Stacy
@StacyOvertonPhD I did reach out to her parents many times and told them that she's not in a very good condition and needs their care and attention..but they don't seem to understand her condition and they have a lot of stigma attached to depression...I talked to her mom yesterday and she told me that if her daughter was feeling all these things then maybe there is nothing that she can do...I got angry and asked her how she could think that way of her own daughter and just let her die without any intervention...I really don't have much hopes from her family... So there's no one at this point from her family who would be of any help ..they just seem to bother for a day or two and then forget that she even exists...and because of the country we live in there's not much professional help available...so I'm really confused what to do...
@StacyOvertonPhD regarding the welfare check what are the ways to do that?
@Sjias
Hi Sjias,
Please contact a mental health center whereever you and your friend live. Each state has different ways to do this and you'll want to find out the specifics to your area.
Stacy
I cry all days, Im feeling super lonely and even tho I try to join everything in university nothing works im always left out, then i have nightmares about my ex best friend from university and is tiring the same thing over and over again, also Idk what to do to cope or overcome idk if its betrayal from friend or what I cant even enter to social media bc i get triggered. Idk why the relationship with this friend changed everytime I try to talk to her about how it damaged me she just leaves me on seen so I decided to block because it was so much damage idk if I did the correct thing. I just dont know how to heal about everything that happened with bullying and with this friend that doesnt shows interest of being my friend anymore idk if it lead me to trauma or what. I just know i need help and support
@Glossytears. Im tired im starting to have mood swings and not stable emotionally I'm feeling lots of stuff that I want to screams bc it hurts like if I'm going to puke or something and nightmares and so more I can't idk what to do I'm sick
@Glossytears
I'm so sorry to read about what you've gone through with your friend. Losing a friend or feeling rejected by a friend often leaves us feeling a lot of emotional pain and loss. Unfortunately it takes time to grieve this loss and it likely is going to hurt for a while. I would encourage you to find a listener or therapist to talk to for a time. It could help you find some tools to really recognize how painful this has been for you and also help you identify next steps to starting to feel better.
Stacy
Hello,
I'd like some insight on how to support my fiance. He is a first responder and battles with so much every day. On Friday everything sort of came to a head and he had a bit of a break. He has OCD, Depression, PTSD. He has been getting increasingly frustrated these past few months and prone to outbursts of anger and harbored feelings of resentment. In the current climate, there is much that is out of our control, and I believe for him, this feeling of helplessness is compounded. I actively listen, without judgment, suggest that he speaks to his therapist (but because she is not engaging in in-person appointments, he is not interested), conduct my own research about ways in which to support and to better understand what he deals with, suggest activities outside (he is an active person but hasn't done a lot recreationally for some time - he is tired of wearing masks all day/night at work, and experiences frustration that things are not the same). He does feel better / experience some relief when I initiate conversations, even if it's a tough conversation where I spell out how this affects me, personally (I'm not one to initiate conversations much of the time, and am working on this). His eating and sleeping habits have also been affected. It's a tough time, and I'm just looking for a plan. I've never dealt with this before.
@faithfulBlueberry1191
Working as a first responder is an intense and fast-paced profession, and it comes with many stressors that are unique to the field. There are a few things you can do to support your fiance through this difficult time.
Try not to pressure him into talking about what is on his mind but offer to be an attentive ear if he wants to talk with you. When we see our loved ones hurting it can be tempting to act as a therapist for them because we don't want to see them in pain. You are a huge part of his recovery and just being with him and being supportive is necessary for recovery; some trauma therapists say that face-to-face support from others is one of the most important aspects of recovery.
Keep a regular routine as much as possible. Even though your fiance may be attending therapy appointments, they could be working or maybe taking time off of work, whatever their unique situation is, try to maintain a sense of normality in your lives as much as possible. Things are a bit different lately because of COVID, but keeping in contact with friends and family, lunch or dinner dates, and doing things together are all important aspects of his recovery.
Learn his triggers; this is beneficial for both of you. Recognizing his triggers is important because it helps anticipate which situations may be difficult, and can help build a plan for when things get to be too much and your fiance needs to step away for a little while to regain control.
Asking how you can help him in those intense moments is a big help. 'What do you need me to do for you right now?'. Helping your fiance develop some strategies to manage his frustration/anger by having a healthy outlet can help with remaining calm throughout the day as well.
@RoryBoutilierRPC Thank you so much for your response; I sincerely appreciate your professional input. I've noticed that he does need time to gather himself after an unplanned disruption in routine, so I give him space and then we can usually come back together to talk. Thank you again.
I have depression and anxiety and the past couple of days I
@ThePizza
If you have a therapist you are working with currently, I encourage you to speak with them about how you are feeling.
The advantage of talking to your current therapist about how you are feeling lately is you already know them and they know you, so they are more likely to have a better understanding of your situation than a new therapist. Your current therapist can help you work through those feelings and develop some coping strategies. If you are feeling overwhelmed with your workload/performance in school and about sports, talk to your therapist about stress management strategies and managing anxiety.
When you talk with your therapist they will be able to determine if you should seek inpatient services and be able to make an appropriate referral. If you feel you are in crisis you should reach out to a crisis support line or go to the nearest emergency room.
I have depression and anxiety and the past couple of days I
@soulsings
1. I am a qualifed therapist in the UK. (Not yet British Assoication of Counselling Registered). Can I become a 7Cups therapist? Or is it only for therapists in the US.
2. How do people find therapist in the US that have experince in working with DID (especially Christian therapist) and are prepared to work on line?
Thank you for your assistance.
@raspberryCamp2010
Hi RaspberryCamp2010,
I believe that we have therapists all over (I think we have some in the UK and even in South Africa). I'm going to check and see if I can find out who you would need to contact to find out more information about employment with 7 cups.
Stacy
@raspberryCamp2010
Hi there!
It is great to have you here. Please email support@7cups.com and we can advise you of the requirements to provide services on 7 Cups.
If you browse our therapist directory here: https://www.7cups.com/therapists/ and you can browse clinical issues. I hope that helps and please let us know with an email if you have anymore questions!
@LisaDeRegtMBPsS
Thank you so much. I am just tied up with the leadership course at present so when I have a little bit more time after I have finsihed that I will be in contact. Thank you so much for the info.It is much appreciated.
Best Wishes
I have been struggling with multiple traumas that have happened over my lifetime. I find that some days are really difficult. I have night mares about one particular trauma. I would like to find ways to help with the nightmares because they can be very difficult to handle and I have a hard time falling back asleep, which affects my mood they next day.
@pluckyCranberry8097
Handling nightmares related to trauma usually involves backtracking through what took place and working through the undelrying issue. There are things you can do that will help with getting a better night's sleep, and you should speak with someone who can help you through those traumas and overcome them.
Creating a space in your bedroom that feels warm and welcoming, and above all - safe, is important when you experience nightmares. Sleeping in a dark room is often best for a good night's sleep, but some people feel their anxiety increases too much or they have a more difficult time sleeping in the complete darkness, so a small nightlight can be a good middle ground for sleeping in a dark room but not the complete darkness. You may try moving your bedroom around to create a new-to-you space, giving a new feel to the room.
Find ways to manage the feelings you are experiencing on a daily basis; exercise, yoga, and a good self-care routine can all be beneficial. Try to avoid things that can make you more alert before bed, such as caffiene and chocolate.
Try to get a good night's sleep but don't force it on yourself. If you go to bed and find you cannot get to sleep, get up and do a quiet activity until you are ready to go to sleep. If possible, get out of bed to do something; sit on the couch and read, do a puzzle, or snuggle with a pet if you have one. Try to keep your bed as a place where you go to sleep rather than where you go to scroll social media or play a game before bed. Getting your mind into an association that bed=sleep can be tough at first, but it can help reduce the number of sleepness nights you have.
I'm having a hard time being able to making friends at school especially with the pandemic going on, it seems kinda trivial but i feel like i
Hi @deesharmoney
I can tell you are struggling with some lonliness and feeling as if you don't fit in. The pandemic has certainly made it more difficult to meet people and hang out like we used to. I want to normalize what you are going through and say that many people are feeling the same in regard to not being able to be with people face to face. I would encourage you to continue to try to reach out to people in any way you can (text, online, etc.) and consider a "safe hangout" where you might be able to see friends and still social distance.
Stacy
@soulsings
I have got the following questions for therapists:
- Why are most psychotherapists from USA/Canada? It makes very inconvenient when you are from opposite side of the earth and you can only get answers from psychotherapists at night as there aren't suitable therapists from region (time zone) where you live.
- why there aren't cheaper terapist options for those who live in developing countries such as India? As i know, services in India are much cheaper than in USA/Canada and maybe is the same with therapists - if you can get some therapists from India for example, they would be able to have their sessions for much less than 150 $ (if i am correct) (but let's limit their services to those who can't afford to pay 150 $ per month). I also read that 7cups takes its share of payment for therapy. If a member states that they can't afford to pay 150 $, i propose that there is a discount in the amount 7cups takes and that member pays only therapy, without 7cups's margin. Wold be it possible?
Hi @klemen,
Thank you for reaching out. I can tell you are feeling frustrated and looking for support that might be more affordable. You can e-mail support@7cups.com to see if there are other payment options. In regard to getting messages at night.. most of us work asynchronously so even when I'm working with someone in the US we are often on different times zones and we message back when we log on each day. I hope that helps!
Stacy
I've been struggling with porn and masturbation for some years now. I started when I was 11 now I'm 19. I would like to know why I haven't been able to stop doing it and how much damage it may have caused to my brain at this stage. Also, how do I get diagnosed for mental disorders/illnesses
@Squidward07
Without knowing more about you and your personal circumstances it is difficult to say why you struggle with this, so I encourage you to speak with a therapist to explore this further. Some people meet criteria for an addictive disorder, such as sex addiction or pornography addiction, whereas others do not. There are many different reasons why people struggle with pornography; addiction, boredom, impulsiveness, and others. Talking to someone who has experience in this area can help with understanding more about your personal circumstances and how to overcome it.
In most places, only a doctor (most often a psychiatrist) or a psychologist can make a mental health diagnosis. In some countries a clinical social worker or counsellor can make a diagnosis, but not often. A diagnosis happens after you meet with a psychiatrist or psychologist and they do an assessment with you. This usually involves appointments with your therapist, maybe filling out questionnaires, and going through an interview process with the therapist.
