I cant get thru detoxing alone
I have been using meth since 2014. A year ago I lost my bf to an overdose and since then I hate using crystal meth. I want to quit more than anything and I try all the time to stop using. But once I get to day5 I'm so uncomfortable in my own skin. I feel lousy. I cant be comfortable doing anything which is basically nothing bc I lack motivation. I stay alone in my room i have been telling my family and friends I've been clean when in reality i still break down and use little bit every few days to avoid the withdrawls symptoms. I am ca8ght in not enjoying the buzz. I dont want anything to do with the stuff and the burden of feeling guilty and ashamed for giving 8n then I'm alone in the struggle bc I cant tell anybody I am detoxing bc they will know I have been untruthful about the drug use. I feel I should go to a treatment facility but I only have my provincial health coverage which means the wait list is super long so I'm afraid I'll be using one day for every 4 or five I have clean. It's a vicious cycle I just feel I'll always be in.
Im on day 7 myself after 8 months using. I want to call my dealer but then I remember that this is just part of it. I was more of an alcoholic. Meth has never been my go to but Ive gone on and off with years in between. Just try to keep in mind thats it’s psychological, you don’t need it to feel, “normal” cus the reality is we arent even a little bit normal while on it. Im doing this cus im tired of turning to other substances to, “deal”with my issues. I want to go back to loving life, the world, sand, grass, water, the smell of rain etc. that keeps me going. My inner child pushes me to stay clean. Also remember your body needs a break, thats why you feel so uncomfortable cus its just not used to it. See if you can do some kind of inpatient program cus thats a long time and it may affect you more negatively than it would affect me. Just stay strong. If I can quit 10 years of alcoholism I can do anything! I believe in you!
Thankyou for sharing and my heart goes out to you. I was caught in cycle of meth with my ex and honestly still struggle without and whats worse is he is so connected to the addiction. I am so so sorry for your loss and think you need to be kind to yourself. I guess deep within you need to want something so bad that it overcomes all else. It is not easy but worth it and you are not alone
sunnyCat9576, it's kinda like I had issues with detoxification in my own house and didn't know how to resolve those. Thankfully, I could discover a website called Healthy Home Makeovers with their articles like about home toxin inspection and right there I could find some great resolving options for this type of a problem.
You can do this
I think you're doing a great job by detoxing. In this instance it is entirely the case that the health coverage system has failed you.
I wish there were a way to get you some real important professional help in a facility. Perhaps someone else here knows of one that might work for you.