Bad drinking habits makes me feel zoned out

I only drink at night but when I do I guzzle it like tomorrow doesn't exist. I drink whiskey heavy, usually starting about 9pm then as I try to regulate my consumption, the effects of the alcohol kicks in then I am under the influence - there is no control in my consumption. I increase the strength as I drink pints after pints of whiskey. Then my body submits to the effects and I quitely take myself to bed where I sleep without a thought in my head.

My kidney are feeling the pressure of continuious heavy alcohol intake. I know I should stop but I have an over active mind that makes sleeping a nightmare. I get restless leg syndrome and feel like I need to chop my leg off to relax. My brain goes on a marathon at times when I should be relaxing. I tell myself often I must stop but when the time comes I feel inclined to give in due to fear that my mind will go into overdrive.

I generally feel more happy when drunk but the effects of this may well be killing me slowly. I understand the dangers but inner conflictions make it a dilemma hard to address.

The pressure of life, a bad childhood experiance resulting in PTSD, anxiety, and depression comes in sync with how I respond to my issues at night.